Red and Black
by Florida'sHarley
Summary: Harley Quinn was just dropped down a trench to her ultimate demise... or so she thought. Someone had found her just before she was gone. Someone in Red and Black. Now, Harley must deal with a major loss and a major gain.
1. Chapter 1: The First Failure

**Hiya all! Just want to tell ya the first bit is from another one of my fan fiction's called "Joker will get his Revenge." Figured I would use it so the story makes a bit more sense. Enjoy puddin'!**

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'She saved me? She.. actually saved me?' Harley Quinn pondered. Her mind was spinning and for the first time in a long time, she could feel a sense of gratitude towards someone...

The two were dangling off the trench side. Batgirl struggling to hold both their bodies up. Harley was about to thank Batgirl when it happened. Her cuffs ripped from her jester suit. That was when Harley felt the sensation of falling yet again; but this time, it would end faster than she had hoped.

Harley fell.

Her mind empty. Non thoughts of her life. No memories. Nothing. Just the trench walls growing in size above her.

An empty mind for a now empty soul.

Then,

It was over.

She was gone. Blacked out.

The only thing she could do was weakly and vaguely breath.

But, that, to her, was a miracle in and of itself.

Harley lied there for who knows how long. Bloody and bruised. Bones crushed in every shape. Some even protruding from her skin. There she was laying in a heap of her own body...

Until, something picked her up.

Something strong no doubt.

Harley was still unconscious though her extremities began to give off a feeling of pain. It was going to put her in agony for a long time but for now, at least she was feeling. Whatever it was holding her, grasped her tighter into it and began walking.

Harley Quinn's body floated through the air. Arms dangling as she moved side to side through the air.

Her consciousness slowly regaining it's status.

Harley's brain clicked on slowly as if someone were sliding the light switch on.

The pain, she realized, was unbearable. The tragedy she was going to hear about soon enough was going to be even worse for her. Her eyes could barely open but when they did, she was only able to see blurred images of red and black. Surrounded by a white glaze.

Harley attempted to lift her head but it was no use. Her neck had taken some serious damage. All Harley could remember was seeing Batgirl and falling.

Falling.

Quickly down into darkness. Some sort of trench she thought. Her mind drew a blank as she began to whimper. Blood streaming into her mouth and running down her throat. Keeping her eyes open, she tried to understand what was happening. Every ray of light shot into her pupil and ran right into her head. Causing the largest headache she could fathom. Any position she could form herself into would be pained.

Her brain finally processed what was happening. She was being carried... but, by whom? Red and black were her colors. Mistah J's maybe? Wait no... purple. Green and purple. Birdbrain? Harley attempted to speak.

"Bi-rd... br...nnnn..."

Her throat scratched up as she questioned who this may be. Her confused mind gathered all the possibilities. Harley's body reacted to ever sound mumbled. This was the largest amount of pain she had ever felt. No doubt bones were crushed and lungs were punctured. No one survives a fall so deep.

'If no one survives... how did I?

Harley mumbled some incoherent sound as she heard shots begin to fire from around her. Who ever was carrying her began to move faster. Pain shot through her body with every step this thing took. It was then Harley felt the most pain.

Her carrier had been shot and she was tossed through the air. Her savior yelled as he noticed what he had just done.

"Shit!"

Harley flew across the cavern.

Landing hard on the cold ground with a THUD. Her body rolled up into a heap before smashing into the trench walls. Blood began to pour from her body as her eyes welled up. No tears would fall. Even the fresh salt water would sting now.

Lying sideways, she watched in horror as she saw her carrier struggle to stand. Being continuously shot by the cops who had begun to descend the trench. No doubt looking for her.

Though, the man wasn't falling. He just stood and took the bullets. As if it were nothing. Not even her puddin' could do that... on a good day. She struggled to keep her eyes open as she lied in pain on the cold, rough ground. The man was in black and red and dressed in an arsenal of guns and knives. That's all she could see as her vision moved in and out.

Blood would occasionally splatter from her savior's back from where the bullets left him. Until the angry echoing of bullets stopped.

That was when she noticed the red and black blob reach for something. Harley tried to steady her eyes but was unable to. Letting her eyes close, Harley relied on the little hearing she had left to paint the picture in her mind. The screams of terror and fright as a sort of slashing sound could be heard in the air.

'Just like Mistah J...'

Harley attempted to smile but couldn't.

Suddenly, the knife of some sort was dropped or maybe thrown. A CLANG could be heard near her. That's when gun shots began to go off again. Harley forced her eyes open to see a man fall before her. Only this time, dressed in blue.

'Ha... stinks to be a good guy...' she thought.

The shooting stopped and the last echo of the gun shots bounced out of the trench. Harley watched as the red blob discarded the leftover bodies. Within minutes, not a trace of what had happened was left behind. The man walked up to her and gently picked her up. Her bruised freezing body aching with every slight movement. She mumbled something and heard not exactly the answer she expected.

"Are you cold or are you just happy to see me?"

The voice was definitely a man... not the one she wanted to hear though. Especially one like this one. These jokes were terrible compared to the Joker's... Where ever her puddin' was, she hoped he was safe

Her body ached and for now, who ever this was was saving her butt.. hopefully. With every step, the pain grew and she began to lose touch with reality yet again. She felt herself becoming limp in this man's arms.

This was not going to be an easy trip...

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**Hiya again! Just so ya understand, the Joker is gone. This is after Harley was dropped of course and sadly after that stupid Birdbrain killed Mistah J. For all who don't know this story line, I suggest reading the other fan fiction or watching Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. hehe **


	2. Chapter 2: Smells like Victory

"What did I just say...?"

Deadpool pondered aloud as he carried the unconscious woman in his arms.

'We made a reference to her, er, chest.'

'And I encouraged it! HA!'

Deadpool walked on through the trench. His bat-shit crazy mind always had two sides to it. His more sophisticated well to do side and his not so sane, chick crazy fiend side. The there was just Deadpool; who listened to both sides but preferred to listen to the less intelligent half. As the Merc with a Mouth trampled around the trench looking for the way he had come in, he was able to catch a glimpse at the woman he was carrying.

"How hard did she fall?"

'Ha! We said hard.'

Deadpool couldn't help but laugh at himself. Perverted jokes always seemed to get to him.

"HAHA! No but, no... haha... but seriously... where did blonde fall from?"

His more remarkable mind answered quickly and sternly.

'Probably from the place you were going to "inspect for clues." Honestly, we aren't a kids program...'

Deadpool finally found his exit. A hole in the trench no bigger than him. How he was going to squeeze through that with this woman in his arms was beyond him. He paused in front of the crack in the trench wall. He thought or a second before his less intelligent side spoke up.

'We could drag her through.'

'And risk maiming her even more? Sounds like a great idea...'

Deadpool listened as his mind began to fight with itself.

'Well what do you think? We could always throw her through!'

'No WE can't. That would be worse than dragging her!'

"Well... we could throw her through and try that thing we've secretly wanted to for a while.'

'No we are not doing that. No necrophilia here thank you.'

"Can we please SHUT UP for just one second?"

Deadpool's mind was of a thousand voices at once. For now he had to think of a way to get through.

"We will just carry the hottie through. We'll just be careful not to harm her anymore. If she can look this hot torn up and maimed then what does she look like fixed up?"

Deadpool made a "prrring" noise as he advanced towards the whole in the wall. Slowly, he bent down and began to move his way through the empty cavern like crevice. Maneuvering his way through the trench.

"DAMMIT," he hollered.

Looking down he could see his foot sliced open by a rock protruding out of the bottom of the crevice.

"We may have healing powers but every time something happens it still hurts like a bitch!"

'Too bad I don't have to feel it,' exclaimed his unintelligent side.

'Well, you are him and he is we so you are feeling it idiot.'

'Ohhh right... OW.'

Deadpool ignored himself and slunk through the cavern. Finally arriving on the other side before finally hearing voices from behind that were, for once, not his own.

'Oh dear. Better get a move on.'

Springing to life (and ignoring his sliced foot), Deadpool ran as hard as he could up to the road.

"Great day to NOT own a car," he mumbled unhappily.

Deadpool ran up to his red and black scooter parked on the side of the road. It wasn't much but the last thing he needed was for the X-men back home to pounce on him for taking the car.

Hopping on quickly, he dropped the woman onto his lap carefully. adjusting a few things so he wouldn't get any ideas...

The engine started up with a baby "VROOOM."

"Great way to show off to the ladies... who can resist such a fine specimen?"

'You mean the bike,' his mind asked nonchalantly.

"NO. I mean US."

With that, the scooter sped off; leaving behind whomever was most likely looking for the cops and this merely mutilated woman. The little scooter sped through the dark alley ways of Arkham. Deadpool knew where he was going... kind of. He had left marks on the walls to direct him back to his current abode. Sure the marks were made of his last prey's blood but whatever works right?

Sharply turning, he pulled into a empty alley way with only a fire escape gracing it. The vehicle stopped as Deadpool gently picked up the woman and began to walk to the escape. He looked up for a second and realized this would not be an easy fete either.

"Awww screw it."

Deadpool flung the woman over his shoulder and began to ascend the staircase. Running quickly as if his life depended on it. Only this time, it wasn't his but Harley's. He finally made to his level and attempted to open the window.

'It's stuck.'

'Thank You Captain obvious.'

At this point, Deadpool was done messing around. He smashed the window in and entered.

The apartment wreaked of old clothes and crap. Pancakes and Chimichangas lied throughout the grey kitchen. The walls were crumbling as were the floors but Deadpool didn't care. It was home for now.

Deadpool made it to his crappy bedroom and gently set the woman down.

'There's a girl in our bed!'

Deadpool couldn't help but giggle a bit. Taking a whiff of his musky smelling house he couldn't help but exclaim,

"Smells like, VICTORY."

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**Alrighty puddin's, here is some back round information on Deadpool if ya need it. By now you should know he is a little nuts. Long story short he had cancer, Hydra (top secret organization... Heil! Not really...) promised to cure it with their test drugs, it did nothing but poison his mind, give him ninja skills and healing abilities, and cause him to go a little insane which made him become the assassin everyone knows and loves today. He is also the hottest assassin there is... hehehe... Beautiful story isn't it?**


	3. Chapter 3: Suited Freak

Light was painful.

Sound was painful.

Though, anything would be painful for Harley as of now. Her body had been mangled after her long fall into emptiness. The only thing that didn't hurt was Harley's hope to see her puddin' again. This thought is what brought her to open her eyes. Slowly, Harley began to peer through her damaged blue eyes. Opening them with care and hopefully, without pain.

Harley's vision was blurred for a few moments after her eyes finally opened. A cracked ceiling was all she saw. The grey blur was not familiar to Harley ad she knew it. She moved her head slightly after a moment to look around.

This was not home. This was not Arkham at all.

'Where am I?!'

Her head screamed in agony as her mouth could not process and speak the words she thought. Her body was in terrible pain. Looking down, she saw the many different bruises and beatings she had taken. Her legs were covered in scratches and bruises. Arms and the rest of her looked somewhat distorted. That was when she realized it. She wasn't in her jester outfit. Yes it had been nearly torn to bits after she fell but why wasn't it on her!? Instead she was wearing a torn version of someone else's red and black outfit. It looked like hers but there were some definitive differences.

Harley attempted to force herself out of the bed. Her attempt failed as she plopped back down on the bed with anger. Determined to "protect" herself from who ever was there to hurt her, she rolled off the bed and collapsed onto the floor. Sticking her feet underneath her body, Harley forced herself up. Making it to her feet as excruciating pain bolted through her body.

Harley ignored the pain due to her determination.

'There is no way B-Man would take me here...'

Harley's mind began to ponder why she was here as she made her way to the door way.

'I fell... and... I know I fell... Bratgirl dropped me!'

Here mind floated around for possibilities when she realized something.

'Wait... MISTAH J?! What happened to him?!'

Harley began to panic. Her mind raced with thoughts about the Joker. Her determination to get out of wherever she was grew in a matter of seconds.

The doorway lead straight into a disgusting living room. The couch was torn up and the floor covered in spots. The room had bits of old food lying all around. There was one table in the room though it was covered in files. Harley wandered out of the bedroom (if you could even call it that) and headed into the "living" room.

Sure someone lived here but no one she wanted to be around. There was a broken window in the corner of the room.

"Time to leave," Harley said in a weak voice.

As she made her way to the window she heard someone speak from behind her.

"Leaving already? We didn't even get to make you breakfast."

Harley froze in her tracks.

The voice was not creepy in any way, shape or form. It just sounded like a bored person who seemed slightly amused at her attempt to leave.

Harley turned to see a figure sitting in a chair across the room. The chair was in the dark part of the room which, earlier, had made it completely unnoticeable from the bedroom door frame. Harley spun around to see a figure now standing in front of the chair with arms crossed on his (she assumed it was a he) chest. Tall and covered in the same colors she had on. The same suit he must have cut to fit her.

Harley gave out a cute smile and stood up straight.

"I won't be staying long."

With all her might, Harley lunged at the window and made it out into the cold Gotham morning. Clearly, it was still early morning. The sun hadn't showed it's face yet and the cops were still all hanging out in their cars; searching for any random thug to pop out of the shadows at the wrong time. Harley was on fire escape.

'Haha and escape being used to escape. Funny,' Harley thought.

She may have been in pain but her laughter kept her alive. Just what she had learned from her puddin'.

"Please don't make me chase you," she heard from behind her.

Her body wasn't in a decent enough shape to jump from this height, so, she began to descend quickly down the escape. Running as fast as she could force herself to go. Running as much as her body would allow her.

Pain shot through her body as she took each step. Every step shooting agony through her spine until it reached her head. Tears began forming in her eyes as she reached the bottom. Despite the pain, Harley trudged through the early morning smog. The smell was awful but she had to find her puddin'.

Harley ran down an alley way and turned a corner. Slamming into someone who was seemingly waiting for her around the corner.

Harley looked up with tears running down her face. The pain had reached her but now, something was up.

It was the figure she had seen earlier... in the apartment...

"But but... how did you...?"

The figure just laughed ad picked Harley up. He through her over his shoulder.

Harley was not about to give up on her plan.

She kneed the man in the face and fell on to the ground as he let go of her.

"Oh come on!," he yelled.

Harley pulled herself up and ran three steps before being grabbed yet again. This time, the man's grip was stronger than before. Harley flipped herself forward over the man and escaped his grip. Though, not before she grabbed him and flipped him into the nearby wall. Throwing him against the brick wall and twisting his arms behind him.

"You tell me what you want. NOW!"

Harley's voice squealed and echoed off the alley way walls. Her escape plan was on pause for a moment. This freak wanted something and she wasn't about to let him win.

"Alright alright... EASY tiger."

The man laughed as Harley twisted his arms harder into his back. The entire time, her body slowly losing it's ability to function correctly. Her vision was growing blurrier as her lower half began to shake.

Harley shook it off but was too slow to react as the suited freak escaped her hold, grabbed onto her and hit a button on some odd looking device. Whoever he was, he was skilled and not just some suited up thug. The device looked like something Batman would use. Maybe he was behind this entire thing!

Whatever it was, it shot them both through the alley way with frightening speed. Knocking Harley unconscious and leaving her questioning,

'What is happening...?'


	4. Chapter 4: Dead Fun

Deadpool sat impatiently in a battered wooden chair he had situated himself into. Waiting for the blonde woman to wake up out of her teleportation coma.

Teleportation was not for the weak at heart and it was his mistake to take such a fragile thing through all that.

"Why isn't she up yet?" he said aggravated.

'Maybe because you took her through a wormhole in time KNOWING she was unable to function correctly.'

Deadpool attempted to ignore his more "intelligent" half all the time knowing, he was right...

He had his feet rested on the ground; one crossed over the other. His arms placed behind his head, setting up a comfortable arrangement that allowed him to relax. His normal sleeping spot was taken by a lady wearing his clothes.

Deadpool watched the woman sleep, or rather, stay unconscious.

After what seemed like forever to him (it was only five minutes he had been sitting there), the woman slowly began to awake. She had been out since early that morning and now it was around five in the evening. The only reason Deadpool was so impatient was because now was about the time he ad his ego went out looking for some dame to scoop up and take home. Though, in this case, he already had done that once today.

Deadpool lunged up from his chair and stood by the door way.

"Now what?" he asked himself.

'Why don't we check and make sure she's okay?'

'OR we could-'

'NO.'

While his mind was arguing with itself, Deadpool stood and watched the woman in his bed. She began to wiggle herself awake. Eyes opening slowly with pain in them. He was pretty sure she didn't realize he was standing there.

A realization came across the woman's face as she began to realize she didn't know where she was. She started wriggling around but a sudden shock pierced her pale face.

She noticed him standing in the doorway.

'Crap.'

"What do we do?" he whispered.

'I suppose act normal.'

Deadpool leaned his arm against the doorway while the other landed on his hip. He crossed one leg over the other ad attempted to pull off a smolder.

"So, come here often?"

'NO! TOO NORMAL TOO NORMAL!'

Deadpool straightened himself up and stood awkwardly in the door frame. The woman's blue eyes were piercing hatred into his own eyes.

The awkward silence was broken with the woman's simple request.

"Let me go home!"

Deadpool stood in the doorway and pulled off a smile.

"Home? What home? Didn't you live at that asylum place?"

The woman just stared at Deadpool; honestly making him a little uncomfortable. Which, was hard for anyone to do.

"Fine, if you won't take me home, I will take myself... hey, wha- whats this?"

Deadpool laughed at what he had done.

"After your attempt to leave this morning, I tied you up to the bed."

'Kinky!'

'Oh dear God...'

He watched as the woman tried to escape the bounds and he thought it hilarious. She wasn't leaving anytime soon.

"Well, darlin-"

"DON'T CALL ME DARLIN'!" snapped the woman.

"Okay... so what do I call you besides hot blonde chick?"

The woman was not amused... at all.

"Call me Harley. Everyone does."

"Alright Harley," Deadpool pulled the wooden chair over and sat down,"why so eager to leave? We have clothes and food here. We have a butt load of Chimichangas if you want one."

The next words that came from Harley's mouth were horrifying.

"What is a Chimi... changa?"

Deadpool let out a high pitched little girl shriek as he balled up into himself. His voice went up a few notches as he spoke.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A CHIMICHANGA IS!?"

"... No...and judging by that little display, I am not sure I want to."

Deadpool felt slightly offended by these words.

"Look, I want out so can ya just let me go home to my puddin'?"

'Great... so there IS a Mister...'

"Not until you are better. You took quite a hit when you fell the other day. Hell, I have fallen twice that and I didn't look half as bad as you do now."

"Gee thanks."

Deadpool watched as Harley rolled her eyes; her big blue beautiful eyes...

'WAIT NO. There's a mister Harley somewhere...'

After slight pause in conversation, Harley started it back up.

"So, what was that thingy this morning? You know, the on that made me come back to this place."

"This place is my humble abode, that is, for now and for your information, it is NOT A THINGY. It is a transportation device. I had to work my ass off to get this and I would appreciate it if you would call it by it's name," Deadpool huffed.

"Fine. The teleporation device... gee... doesn't Bats have one of those?" Harley inquired.

"Umm... I don't think bats have teleportation devices."

"Oh my God no. Batman. Doesn't he have one?"

Deaadpool could only shrug.

"How would I know?"

"Well, don'tcha work for him or with him at least?"

"WHAT? ME WORK FOR A MAN I ONLY HEARD ABOUT THREE DAYS AGO!? YOU MUST HAVE HIT YOUR HEAD HARDER THAN WE THOUGHT."

Harley looked quite annoyed.

"You don't have to be like that. Just, who are you anyways?"

"Me?"

Deadpool shot up from his chair and threw his thumbs up into the air. Pointing to himself at the same time. With every new phrase, he struck a new pose.

"I am Wade Wilson. Master assassin. Parkour expert. Basic ninja. Amazing chef. Handsome as hell. Though, most people call me Deadpool."

With that, Wade sat back down in his seat.

'Great introduction.'

'I liked it. Short and to the point!'

Deadpool heard a small giggle as he sat back down.

'Wait was that a laugh? Was she... laughing at us?'

Her smile shown through the hair that had fallen in front of her face. Sure she was still deformed looking in a way but who wasn't now-a-days?

'I mean honestly, have we looked in a mirror lately?' his better (more nagging) half asked.

"Anyways, Mistah, uh, Deadpool, why are you here in this place then? Surely a quote "Master assassin" would have work here. You saw the city. You know what it's like now."

Deadpool sat back in his chair and answered with the most intelligent look he could muster.

"Well, I had a job to do here in Gotham."

"Had?"

"Yep. HAD. Turns out the guy I was told to get rid of was killed or something."

"Made your life easier I bet."

"Hells yea!"

The two sat and laughed for a second. Harley was lightening up. Maybe it had come across to her that he was only trying to help. He could only hope he wouldn't screw anything up.

"So, if I may ask, who was this guy they sent you after? Not your average Joe?"

Deadpool happily answered back.

"Apparently not. This guy had Batman-or so Iv'e heard- chasing him for years. I mean, he was no average clown."

Just then, Harley's face could be seen slowly dropping.

"Wha... What was your targets name?"

'Uh oh... did she know him? Wait... is this his little tag along girlfriend?'

"I, er, I don't know."

"YES YOU DO. What was his name?"

"I think my chimichangas are burning," Deadpool stood up ad turned towards the doorway.

"We both know you weren't makin' any now, WHAT WAS HIS NAME!?"

With a terrifying silence, the room began to shrink.

'If we tell her, she will know he is dead...'

'So what? People die all the time. We kill people for a living.'

'Yes but should we be the ones to break it to her?'

His thoughts were interrupted by the crying scream of the woman laying in his bed.

"WHO?!"

Deadpool could only mumble the words as he turned back towards the bed.

"His name... his name was The Joker."


	5. Chapter 5: He isn't dead!

"Mis...Mistah J-J-J is... is dead?"

Harley's mind couldn't wrap around what she had just heard. She was hoping she misunderstood what Deadpool had just said.

"Your'e... YOUR'E LYING!"

Harley's eyes began forming tears as she stared down the man in the doorway. He stood stately in the doorway with a somber face. Clearly regretting what he had just admitted to her.

Through his mask, Harley could see the depressing truth. Her puddin', her love, her everything, was gone. Not like gone as in at Arkham again but gone in the sense she would never see him again. Everything she knew was over and finished with with the use of two words.

The Joker.

The Joker had been the clown this freak was describing. The one he had been targeting. The one HE would have tried to kill and failed miserably at doing so.

Now none of it mattered though.

Her puddin' was gone and she couldn't do a thing about it.

Her face turned completely pale. More than before. Even the white color that had been pasted on her face was melting off.

"No. No... no no no no no NO NONONONO!"

Harley began thrashing around in the bed. Furiously attempting to break free of the restraints Deadpool had on her. The tough ropes slicing into her skin as she thrashed back and forth.

Deadpool stood in the doorway completely stunned. Motionless. Not sure of what he should do.

Harley stopped her thrashing for one moment as she looked up at Deadpool.

"You've gotta be joking... Mistah J has so called died before and... he... He's still alive. I KNOW IT."

Harley looked at Deadpool with the last glimmer of hope she had. Joker wasn't dead.

'This was all just a setup by B-man,' Harley's mind concocted.

"Uh, well, uh Harley you said?"

Harley just glared at Deadpool.

"Right so anyways, I have a TV out in the living room if you wanna see... It is kinda all over the news. Has been for days."

Harley eyed the man suspiciously with tears running down her pained face.

"If you be a good girl, I will take the restraints off of you."

Deadpool shook his finger at Harley as if she were four.

'He's gonna regret that...'

Harley nodded her head slightly.

Deadpool made his way over to the bed and to her side. Taking a knife from his large array of weapons on his belt. Slicing the restraints off of Harley and watching as she recoiled in pain. All the pain from the fall and the dizziness from the teleportation hit her all at once. Her body ached but her fear pushed her through. She had to know what happened to her puddin'.

Harley attempted to stand but failed as she fell to the side. Landing with a slight angle to which she could grab onto Deadpool and hoist herself back up. Harley was able to feel Deadpool put her arm around his shoulders. At first she was disgusted but soon relieved when she found she could walk yet again.

The two slowly made their way into the beaten up old living room. Making their way through the rotten garbage sprawled throughout the room and to the dilapidated couch. Harley plopped down like a blob of goo. Not able to adjust her body, she just lay there in pain while Deadpool scrambled around the TV.

"Now, do excuse me. I, er, have a tendency to shoot the thing if I hear something I don't like. haha Old habits die hard right?"

Harley didn't even try to muster up a smile. What was the point? She was in pain physically and mentally. Clearly, this whole situation would blow over and it would turn out the Joker was still alive. Just hiding somewhere; Waiting for her or ole Batsy to find him. Watching the way in front of her, she saw Wade's disappointed face turn back to the television. Finally seeing him adjust the television so she could see it.

The channel was set to a more adult appropriate station.

"HAHA YOU KNOW... I'll just change that. Let me just, uhh, yea..."

Deadpool began searching frantically for the remote when Harley noticed she was lying on it. Pulling it out from under her, she handed it to the frantic freak. He changed it without hesitation to the news show Gotham Tonight. A crap show where people complained about their problems and who they hated most right now.

"Nope. Not this one."

Harley watched Deadpool flip channels. All the while hoping that what he said wasn't true.

"Ahhh here we go."

On screen was a picture of the destroyed old Arkham building. Headline underneath reading exactly what she didn't wish to see.

"Clown Prince of Crime Dead."

The TV was on mute but Deadpool was all to eager to turn it up.

"...with many different stories of how the Joker was killed. Though the police commissioner refuses to make a statement on the Joker's murder, we can now assume that Gotham is safe once again."

The newscast broke for commercial break as Harley stood with eyes fixated in the screen.

Deadpool flipped the channel again to the next news station he could find.

"Reports are coming in soon about the Joker's murder. Still unsolved after almost a week. Deputies say-"

The newscast was interrupted by a loud crash.

Harley had kicked the television screen in. Glass slicing into her foot and causing it to bleed terribly.

"That... proves... nothing," she said with a humph.

"But the fact that this Joker freak is dead and my job was made easier," responded Deadpool all too quickly.

Within seconds, Harley had him pinned to the ground. Punching every place she could reach. Especially his face.

Punch after punch Harley screamed with anger and agony.

"TAKE IT BACK! HE ISN'T DEAD! HE ISN'T!"

Deadpool flung Harley off of him and to the floor. This time, pinning her down to the ground. She struggled to free herself but then just began thrashing. Screaming bloody murder the entire time.

"HE ISN'T DEAD! HE ISN'T DEAD!"

Tears ran like rain down her cheeks. Her arms flailed in every which direction. It took most of Deadpool's strength to keep her arms still. Let alone her lower half and legs.

Every word she now cried out were in sheer agony.

"Pleeeassseee... noooo... HE can't be dead! He can't..."

Cries were heard with every word as new tears over took the drying older tears.

Harley's mind now knew the truth. He was truly gone. Her puddin'. Her love. The clown she was going to raise a family with. Gone. Nothing was worth living for now. He was her life. Her all. Now, he was nothing but an empty body lying somewhere in the ground. Hopefully.

Her pain spread like wildfire through her body as her mind stopped processing everything.

It was going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6: Home is calling

**Hiya puddin'! Just wanted to let ya know (if you are not quite familiar with Deadpool) that Deadpool can't die. Period. He is just that wonderful... *looks off dreamily***

* * *

'At least the screams have stopped... right?'

Deadpool began to talk himself through his little problem.

"Well... yea. The screams have stopped but that chick is crazy! You know how many times she has stabbed me in the past three days? AND ALL I DO IS TRY TO BRING HER OUR CHIMICHANGAS!"

'Why is she staying here again?'

'She has no where to go now that the clown we were supposed to kill is gone.'

"We can't make her leave... I think... for now at least. She's too banged up.. HA."

'Not til' we see her tits! haha!'

Deadpool stood kneeling on a guard rail on the fire escape side. His less intelligent half had brought a smile to his face. The first one he could muster up after such a long week...

It had been almost three days since Harley found out about the Joker. She hadn't stopped crying and Wade hadn't dared to enter the bedroom. Except to bring her the occasional piece of leftover chimichanga or other scraps laying around. Even though every time he entered, Harley would attempt to kill him. Using what ever she could find as a weapon.

So far, she had tried a metal pipe, the wooden chair he had sat in earlier that week (she had ripped the legs clean off and stabbed him few times), some rope left on the floor and choking him. It was adorable that she just kept trying but the fact that her incapability to cope and figure out that he can't die was somewhat shocking. Her tries were frequent. Painful of course but never successful.

Always failing to kill him, but, it is the thought that counts...

'So she stays until she heals. Then what?'

"I guess she leaves."

'Aww... but... but... boobs...'

Deadpool's hot n' heavy half always seemed to have fun while his logical side was, well, logical.

"What was so special about this, er, Joker character anyways? I bet he wasn't half as good looking as us."

Deadpool chuckled as he watched the street below him. Bustling with busy homeless people and drug dealers.

'Please! Can we just, you know, unalive one of them?'

'No. Now, please focus on our real problem here.'

'Which is?'

'How we get the extremely distraught female out of OUR bedroom.'

Deadpool's mind argued with itself as he spoke to himself.

"I mean, he was a clown. Probably all... clown-y."

'So, out of our bed and into our pants?'

'NO. For God's sake NO. Is that all we think about?'

'HAha maybe...'

"SHUT UP! I have a hot babe in my bed and it's NOT for the fun reason. We need to get her out of our bed. That couch is uncomfortable."

Deadpool rubbed his neck as he hopped down from the fire escape's rail and to it's rigid, rusty floor. Turning towards the window.

"Here we go..."

Slowly, he crept through the window and into his room. Being careful not to wake a finally asleep Harley Quinn.

CRICK. CREEK. CRICK. CREEK.

'Dammit floor boards!'

Just then, Harley moved around in the bed. Tossing her self over to face a paranoid Deadpool. Only to settle back into bed before fully waking up.

Looking over at the bed, he could see Harley was still in her restraints he had put on her from the last time she got out of them. These weren't going to last long either. She was a master escape artist...kinda. She still hadn't escaped the broken down, rugged apartment.

Step. CREEK.

'Remind me why we aren't using our teleportation again.'

Annoyed with this comment (being that he knew the reason and so should his own mind), Deadpool whispered to himself angrily.

"BECAUSE, I left it in the bathroom on the counter. I was too focused on aiming and the damn thing was in our way."

Deadpool slowly made his way to the doorway. Slyly sneaking through the door and grabbing the handle. Shutting the door quietly and quickly behind him. That's when he heard the loud screeching of an unwanted sound. Not Harley but the communicator-like phone Deadpool had forgotten he had. It was ringing at full blast in the kitchen.

"CRAP!"

Running forward clumsily, the Merc with a Mouth made it to the kitchen, picked up the phone and screamed into it.

"WHAT!?"

"Uh... Wade?" the other side rang out.

"No. The muffin man."

"Alright... So, look Wade we have a new assignment for you. Pays a good load of money and it seems like an easy kill."

'DID I HEAR KILL?'

Deadpool listened to the raspy voice coming from the phone.

"Do I have to come home first?"

Deadpool laughed knowing damn well no one at "Home" would appreciate him coming back.

"Unfortunately... yes."

"See you soon flabby patty!'

With that, Wade hung up his phone.

"WOOHHOOO! Money!"

Then it dawned on him... what was he gonna do with the sleeping woman?

"Do we bring her?"

'And make this trip hell? No.'

"That's a good point... she is almost crazier than me..."

'But think of the upside. Boobs!'

"That's an even better point."

'Honestly, why do you listen to that side of you more often than this side?'

After much consideration, and a few chimichangas, Deadpool made a decision.

"Oh what the hell? Let's bring her! It isn't often we get to bring a girl home! HAHA. Oh Logan will be so proud!"

Deadpool flung a chimichanga across the room as he pulled his hands together and held them there. Bringing them up to his face like a little school girl. Giddy and all.


	7. Chapter 7: The Need To Leave

Tears ran down Harley Quinn's face as she lied curled up in bed. Hear sweet and dismal voice sung out in pain as she rocked herself back in forth on the bed singing in a whispered, pained tone.

"On-only... you... can make... the world seem... right."

Between every short sentence came a sniffle and more tears. The pillow was near soaked as was her face and the blanket.

"Only...you... can make... the darkness...brig-"

Harley began to full on cry. Not being able to say anything.

Her heart had been smashed alongside her body. The physical pain from her fall had finally begun to wear off as she healed though her heart, she felt, would never heal.

Her recollection of time was gone. She didn't care what day it was. Time had stopped for her...and nothing that red suited weirdo could do would coax her out of bed.

SLAM.

The bedroom door slammed open and smashed into the wall.

"HONEY I'M HOME! HAHA. Too early? Yea... I figured."

Harley shot up on the bed looking at Deadpool.

Rage grew intensely within her as she looked for something nearby to throw at him.

Nothing but the pillow.

He had done a decent job of retrieving all of the sharp objects out of the room after she had stabbed him so many times. How he wasn't dead already stumped Harley.

'HE SHOULD BE DEAD AFTER BEING STABBED OVER AND OVER BY A SOCIOPATHIC DEPRESSED WOMAN!'

"Ah ah ah!"

Deadpool wagged his finger at Harley; Only enraging her even more.

"This time I came prepared! Well... kind of. I just took everything out of the room and I can't die so... HEY. You know what? It doesn't matter anyways because you and I are going on a field trip! So pack your things Toots 'cus this ship is leaving in ten minutes."

'Can't die? Go figure. How is that even possible?Wait... GO? WHERE!?'

"I AM GOING NOWHERE! WITH YOU ESPECIALLY!"

Harley grabbed her pillow and chucked it at Deadpool. He just watched as it slammed into his face and fell to the floor.

"Oh. Oh no. A fluffy thing hit my face with all it's soft squishy might. Please. Someone save me!"

Deadpool began laughing as he slammed the door behind him. Yelling through the closed door as he walked away.

"Get ready hot stuff. You get to meet my family! Well, adopted, every one hates me kind of family... haha!"

Harley stood still; staring at the back of the wooden door.

"AHHH!"

All Harley could do was scream. Her aggravation and sadness had built up and began a flame that would not so easily be put out.

Jumping off the bed, Harley lunged herself at the small dresser across the room. Picking it up and throwing it out the window and onto the fire escape. She looked at the window.

There it was. Her passage to freedom.

So, why wasn't she leaving?

Harley slumped over herself as she fell to the floor. Forming herself into fetal position and rocking back and forth.

She knew she wasn't going to leave.

Where would she go?

Who could she trust?

Not Batman.

He would just throw her back in Arkham.

Not any other villain. Joker had made sure to become one of the most hated people in Gotham. That hatred spread throughout everyone. Not just the innocent. Now that her puddin' was gone there was nowhere for her to go.

'Now that... Mista J is...'

Her mind wouldn't allow her to finish the sentence.

It stopped her and shut itself down.

"He... he isn't gone. Mista... Mista J is...is okay. He is probably off somewhere with B-Man... They are off fighting somewhere. Mista J is... is slapping B-Man in the face with a fish while Batman plays with one of his toys... right?"

Her body rocked as she repeated saying this over and over again. The floor boards creaking as she moved with every rock. Her mind drew a blank as she did not hear the door creak open behind her. Suddenly, she felt something grab her and force her up and onto the bed.

She ignored everything that was happening. Her mind was gone. Nothing but empty words.

What ever or whom ever had picked her up, lied her down on the bed. It ensured her a comfortable enough position and covered her with the covers.

All Harley could do was close her eyes and pretend everything was going to be okay...

It wasn't until the next morning when Harley awoke from her mindless slumber. She kept her eyes closed and began to realize her predicament, and now her solution. She needed to escape and find Ivy. Harley rolled over to her side and slowly began to open her eyes when she saw something horrid.

"Hiya Sugar Tits!"

The red and black blob looked at her with it's white eyes.

'I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Him.'

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**Sorry about the length, puddin'! Next chapter is way longer and more fun! Thanks for reading to this point. It is so wonderful to have people read your story. Especially ones like you! Love you all! Night puddin's!**


	8. Chapter 8: Pockets of Chimichangas

'She is really hot when she's asleep. Wonder what she looks like without the rags we gave her.'

Deadpool lied on his back, hands folded behind his head next to a sleeping Harley Quinn. Earlier he had picked her up from the floor and flung her to the bed.

'Remind us why we are taking care of this, er, clown woman,' stated his more intelligent half sternly.

"It is only until I can prove to Logan that I can have a sidekick and a girl one at that," Deadpool whispered as he looked at the sleeping woman across from him.

"He will be all like, Oh, Bub, I am impressed with your stunning sidekick and devil-like charm."

Deadpool spoke the words while pullig his hands from behind his head and reenacting being Wolverine to the ceiling. As if it were an audience.

'So, if this is just to prove our minuscule worth-'

"Hey. NOTHING about us is minuscule."

'HA. I understand that joke,' replied his idiotic half.

Deadpool moved his hands back under his head and lied back comfortably on his pillow. A grin showed on his face through his red and black mask.

'Anyways, what I was saying was that if we are just trying to prove our worth, than why are we taking care of her? Why not just tie her up and force her to tag along?'

Deadpool pondered his own thought for a second before answering, well, himself.

"At some point, there will be dragging and kicking and screaming which, to me, will be fun! But... overall I don't think she has anywhere else to go. Eventually, when our little vacation is over, we'll just kick her to the curb. She has that bat guy to go to."

'True... but why stop her mental break-down from earlier?"

Deadpool couldn't answer himself.

'Huh. Do we have a crush?! I knew those boobs would get to us eventually!'

"No."

'You are lying to yourself.'

Deadpool rolled his eyes and rolled over to his side; Facing the sleeping woman across from him. Looking at her blonde hair. She was facing away from him until...

'Oh crap. She's waking up. PLAY IT COOL DEADPOOL."

Harley was flipping herself over towards him and he just calmly positioned himself to be face to face with her once she flipped over.

He waited a few seconds before he saw her eyes slightly begin to open. With the smoothest voice he could make out, he simply said,

"Hiya sugar tits!"

'We are an idiot...' stated his mature half matter of fact like.

Looking into her eyes, he could tell that was the wrong thing to say but hey, what's a guy gotta do impress someone he's just gonna drop off somewhere later on?

Harley jumped out of bed with a frightening speed. Grabbing her pillow and covering the front part of her body almost instinctively.

"WHAT THE HECK?!"

Deadpool stared blatantly at the shocked young lady standing in his room.

"What? Can't a guy get some rest?"

"Yea, but not when someone else is in his bed! I outta kill you for that you freak!"

Deadpool pretended to be offended as he looked up at Harley.

"OH. Ouch! Hey, remember that thing I told you about? You know... I can't die?"

"I WILL FIND A WAY!" Harley screamed.

"That's cute," Wade replied.

The two stood in the room staring at each other. Rage burning from the inner soul of Harley and complete and utter hilarity coming from Deadpool.

"Now," Deadpool said while sitting up and pulling himself off the bed,"Why don't you change into some proper clothes and we leave in say, ten minutes. That sound good honey bear?"

At that moment, Harley lunged at Wade. Hands grabbing at his throat and launching him down to the ground. Legs pinning him down while she attempted to choke him.

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT! DON'T EVEN CALL ME HARLEY! ONLY MISTA' J CAN CALL ME THAT!"

Deadpool was caught off guard by the pin and lied there laughing. It was all very funny to him.

Gotta give her credit for trying.

"So... you are into this kinky stuff too?"

Deapool began laughing as Harley pressed harder. Choking him until he flung her off and onto the bed. She landed with a "humph" on the unkempt bed. Wade stopped choking as he forced himself to his feet. Grabbing at his throat.

'She may be small but she sure does have strong hands...'

Deadpool looked over at Harley who was now on the bed looking terrified. A complete change in character within those few seconds. He took two steps towards the bed when Harley put her arm up in a defensive manner.

"What? What are you doing?"

'She thinks we are going to hit her.'

Harley kept her arm up as Deadpool looked down at her. Her bruised face was still terrified of what could happen next. Turning towards the door, Deadpool spoke to her as he left.

"Grab some clothes. Get ready to go. You bring yourself and I will bring the Chimichangas! Leaving in ten minutes!"

Deadpool left the room and shut the door behind him.

'Why does she have to change?' asked his less intelligent side.

Even he knew the answer to this one.

'So no one recognizes her. Some one is bound to be looking for the Joker's side kick. Even if they do think she's dead.'

Deadpool made his way into the kitchen; Grabbing a few Chimichangas for the road and stuffing them into a pocket on a bag he had grabbed on the way in. Soon he moved onto pointless papers and old files. With no decent reason, he just grabbed them and went. Every moment listening for that bedroom door to open. Then he heard it creak open.

"Time to go!" he yelled.

Walking out into the kitchen, he saw a young woman standing in the bedroom door way. Some how she had found normal clothing in that one dresser and put it on. Nothing special; some baggy black pants and a red sweater. Clearly meant for a guy.

"Well, you look awful," Deadpool stated with a laugh.

The evil glare he received for that comment even shook him up a bit. Deadpool slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way to the middle of the room.

"Come here,' he told Harley.

He enjoyed this whole "being boss" thing. It was fun.

Harley did as he said and stood a few feet from him. Clearly still upset about what he had said.

"Now, you may want to grab on tight."

Wade grabbed Harley's arm and pulled her towards him. Wrapping her arms around his chest while he reached for his teleporter.

"Wait... wasn't this the-"

Deadpool interrupted Harley,"Yes it is and no it won't happen again... maybe."

With the last word in, he hit the button, sending them through time and space and towards wherever the hell they were going.


	9. Chapter 9: They're Here

"Wholeh!"

Harley Quinn leaned over the bridge rail. Tentatively grasping the rails smooths yet sticky edges.

"Hey, at least you didn't faint again right?"

Harley listened as Deadpool seemingly gave out a nervous laugh.

During her slight break between throw-ups, Harley whispered expressions of aggravation.

"I hate y- Blehhhh!"

Throw up coursed through Harley mouth and down through the air towards the water. Not a pleasant sight for anyone around. Not a pleasant taste for her.

"I'm sorry. Can you say that again? I couldn't hear you through all that barf," Deadpool laughed as he said.

Harley looked down towards the almost black water. The only bits of color were the slight yellows coming from a light below them on the lower half of the bridge and the nasty color of yellow and clear forming on top of the water. It was the middle of the night and Harley had no clue of where their destination was. Why she was there in the first place was a mystery.

'Why did I come with this freak...?'

Her stomach grimaced and she prepared herself for yet another round of fun. Deadpool stood by watching and laughing.

"You sure do have a weak stomach."

"You sure do have a big mouth," Harley snapped back once her little "episode" was over.

"That's why they call me the Merc with a Mouth. Duh."

Harley watched as Deadpool snapped his fingers and the crossed his arms in front of his chest. The only good part about this trip would be it's end. Harley rolled her eyes and turned back towards the water.

"Okay... I think I'm done."

"Great! Time to go!"

Harley looked at Deadpool in desperation and with slight tears in her eyes. Not from sadness but from the taste emulating from her mouth.

"I am NOT doing that again," she said sternly.

"Yes you are. There is only one more round of this and then we will be there."

Harley stood up straight; grabbing at her stomach and feeling a bit woozy.

"I am not going. I am leaving."

Carefully, Harley made her way down the bridge sidewalk. Ever so slightly taking a step every few seconds.

"Where are you gonna go? The circus is not in town yet! HA!"

"Anywhere away from you..."

Harley took baby steps; Ensuring with every step, she would not have to throw up again. It didn't work. Harley turned her body towards the sea below and emptied the contents of her stomach yet again.

"How is there even anything left?" she asked weakly to no one in particular.

Suddenly, she felt a grip around her as she was pulled into the creepy man's (if he could even be considered one) chest. That's when she realized what he was doing and she tried to get out. His grip was too strong. Lights began flashing around her and things began moving very quickly. She chose to slam her eyes closed as if she were terrified of what was to come next. After moments of pure agony, everything just stopped. Harley was weak from her final trip and hoped that there was nothing bad to come.

"They're heerrreee!" Deadpool rang out as if talking to someone.

Harley's vision was severely impaired; her body felt weak and feeble.

"I hate you," she muttered before falling weakly to the floor. Then a sudden black out as a collective gasp was heard from the room. It was only mere moments before she could feel her body tingling yet again. She was coming to and could feel her anxious tummy rumble in aggravation.

The ceiling was moving and the lights above were passing her. She was being carried. Not by her practical kidnapper but by some other man in a suit. Looking around, she could see two guard-like men and one woman.

'Thank God,' she thought.

Then she realize, someone she didn't know was carrying her through a place she wasn't aware about and she needed to get out. Now.

Using all the strength she had, Harley lunged herself out of the man's arms; Kicking him in the side and watching him fall to the floor gasping. Harley went for the two guards next. Jumping over both their heads and slamming them together in unison. Landing in a perfect "Ta-da" sort of pose. Hands in the air and a smile to her angry face. The Joker had told her to always smile. Even when she didn't want to. It was then she realized the woman standing there holding the gun. Which, at the moment, was pointing at her.

"Hands in the air, miss!"

The woman looked dead serious.

'Last time this happened, I was robbin' a bank with my puddin'...' Harley's thoughts depressed her in that very moment. She began to lose herself in them. To become stuck in the sad world her mind was as of now. Nothing fun, nothing sweet and nothing-

"HANDS IN THE AIR!"

This more intense scream brought Harley out of her thought coma. Slowly and silently, Harley began to move her hands up. Secretly hoping that her puddin would do something to save her. That he would pop out of the next room over and BANG BANG! Nothing. The woman grabbed both of Harley's wrists and twisted them around her back.

"Ow!"

"Hold still. That little outburst was a big mistake."

The woman cuffed Harley and began pushing her down the hall. It was a long walk; bland, boring, befuddling at how long of a time span it was taking to get to their destination. Every step was graced with a CLICK of shoes from behind her. Clearly some more guards had joined the woman who had her cuffed. Though, every time she would turn to look, the woman would smash her head forward facing.

The group made it's way into a large room and entered slowly. The woman handed Harley off to one of the male guards. If she wasn't caught so off guard by the room, Harley would have attacked. The room was massive. Full of computers, workers in dark clothes and giant screens giving off information about weird looking men and women.

'Who the hell is Captain... America? He seems too patriotic.'

Her mind could not absorb the sheer amount of information coming in. It was as if she was in a whole new world. A whole new-

"HEY!" Harley squealed in her high-pitched, angry tone.

One of the guards forced her forwards as they began following the woman through this massive marvel. Walking passed workers, she could see the unwelcome looks she was given. Clearly, nobody here was going to be friends with her. Ever. If anything, she was going to kill them all... The only true friend she had had was Ivy and she was some crazy amount of miles away. She was where Harley needed to be though. At Ivy's house, eating a large meal and talking about who shot who...

That was when the group of men stopped her and she watched as the boring body of a woman went up to a man dressed in all black. A trench coat sort of thing. The man turned to her and mumbled something incoherent. He was a larger man. Not fat but broad and built well. Nothing Harley couldn't take on her own... maybe.

Harley pondered being able to take him down when she noticed the man was coming to her. Her defenses went up and she was prepared to have a scuffle when the man stopped in front of her. Putting both hands behind his back and towering over her with his stance. To tell the truth, for once, Harley was a tad intimidated but that was the pint, she guessed. Then he began to speak.

"Welcome to Shield. I am Nick Fury."


	10. Chapter 10:A, B, or C? Any way is Death

"So, she is like, your sidekick?"

Deadpool happily sat back in his chair, arms behind his head, legs on the conference room table. This attention is what he had been craving for months. He grinned as he turned his head towards an awaiting guard; Completely interested in Deadpool's story.

'He must be new here. Never seen him before.'

'Yea... He won't last long! haha!'

"Yes. Yes she is. For now anyways. See, she needs some training but eventually, who knows? She may be as good of an assassin as ME!"

The guard sat staring at Deadpool from across the table.

"That is awesome."

"Sounds like a load of crap to me," bellowed someone from behind Deadpool.

Deadpool stumbled out of his chair and to his feet. He knew that voice. It was,

"DOMINO!"

Deadpool ran up to hug her and squeezed her in tight. Carefully avoiding the knife she had already pulled from her belt. Backing up, he eyed her up and down.

"You LOOK like a load of crap to me. The only thing I missed about you were these, honk honk."

Deadpool grasped the air in front of Domino's chest. He received a slap to the head as she walked past him. Grabbing his head, he simply gave out a girly shriek and moved back to his chair. Hopping over it and landing perfectly down in to it.

"I came here to tell you about why you are here. If you are gonna be grotesque about things, I can go find Fury for you and he can explain it," Domino stated.

Deadpool stood up in his chair; Placing his right hand under his chin leaning on his leg and the other laying comfortably on his knee.

'Gro what?'

'It means to be nasty or vulgar.'

'OHHHH well, we can't control that can we?'

"No no that's fine. I'm not listening."

Deadpool batted his eyes like a little girl. Domino only glared at him, then, signaled for the small room to be cleared out.

"Look, Fury had you called here because their security breach in the computers last month."

"And I care why?"

"Because that breach took the names of every so called hero in this place. Any one's information on SHIELD's radar is now in the hands of criminals. Turns out, someone on the bottom level in Security hacked us. Someone we knew. No one special just a worker."

Deadpool just giggled a bit.

"Again, why should I care?"

A deep voice rang out from behind Deadpool. Right behind Deadpool.

"You SHOULD care because this breach will be the end of SHIELD and everyone involved."

Nick Fury's voice echoed throughout the tiny conference room. Deadpool sat looking straight forward, suddenly turning to see the man glaring down at him in aggravation.

"Fury! How's it going? I hear you are having some getting things working down there," Deadpool pointed down and began to whisper as he jumped up to Fury's side,"Don't worry. There are medicines for that kind of thing."

Nick Fury hoisted Deadpool up and threw him off of him. Watching as Deadpool hit the ground feet away from him.

"I see you have been working out... good for you!"

Deadpool jumped to his feet and watched as Fury sat in his chair.

"Wilson, we need you to fry this man's plans."

A picture was held up in front of Deadpool's face.

"He looks like a monkey... I bet he smells like one too."

Fury looked at Domino and rolled his eyes. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I don't know what the hell goes through your mind, Wilson, but I need you to go and figure out what this guy is up to. We don't have a name. Only a face. People around here apparently called him Hane Wilkes but we are assuming that was a fake name."

Standing and staring, Deadpool leaned against the wall and looked at the man dressed in black.

"Why not have Robotman or Green Monster guy or even Psychotically Patriotic Captain do it? Isn't that their line of work?"

"As of now, we cannot have Stark, Banner or Rogers involved because it is considered a smaller matter that can be handled by even the worst of people..."

A gasp escaped Wade's mouth as he cringed at the thing he had just heard.

"I am hurt! Why not have Logan do it then... He and, er, that blue lady-"

Domino chimed in with "Mystique."

"Yes. Mystic lady, thank you. Those two seem like a great pair. In more than one way if ya catch my drift."

Nick sat staring at Deadpool blatantly.

'I think the reader caught our drift...'

'Who didn't?' he asked himself sarcastically.

"Look, Wade," Domino's soft yet tough voice said,"You are the only one, besides me, who is willing to kill someone for money in this place. It-"

"Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me! How much will this pay?" Inquired Deadpool.

Nick looked over at Domino in an aggravated way. As if saying with his eyes that he was a little peeved she reminded Deadpool of payment.

Fury looked back over to Deadpool with his head slightly tilted and hands turning to fists. Clearly this whole thing was beginning to get under his skin.

"Your payment will be your life. Not literally because yes, we all know you can't die but you can be charged with the many assassinations you have done. Especially the assassinations of those innocent police men in Gotham."

That's when Deadpool started to care and realize he wasn't supposed to kill those men... oops. Then he remembered, his "side kick" was somewhere in the building. Probably being annoyed by one of Fury's men.

'How does he know about those...?'

"I know because SHIELD has eyes on everything at all times. Even on you."

'Woa. Did he just read our mind?'

'No. Now, where is that Harley girl?'

Fury interrupted his thinking,"The woman you brought with you is currently in the containment unit on the third floor. Once she woke up, she attacked our men-"

Deadpool's mind wandered off as empty words hit his mind.

'HE DID READ OUR MIND. Here try this!'

Fury stopped talking after a few moments and looked at Deadpool.

"No. We don't have Chimichangas."

"HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!?" Deadpool hollered.

"You are just that predictable."

Disappointment crossed over Wade Wilson's face as he moved towards the table and picked up a file laying on the top of it. Looking around, he noticed Domino was gone. She had habit at disappearing quickly...

"So, why is Domino involved here?"

Fury stood up and made his way to the door.

"She will be your partner in this mission. We need you two to go in, kill this Wilkes, and find out the major plan spiraling above him. He is working for someone."

"Wait... don't you have some crazy no un-aliving people code thing?"

"Yes and that's why you are doing it."

With that, Nick Fury left the room. Leaving Deadpool alone with only his thoughts.

'We get to hurt people? YAY!'

'Not yay. We are stuck with that crazy pale insomniac for the next few months.'

'Yea but Domino is hot!'

"Wait what? Domino can't go! I have the clown princess to follow me around and who will hopefully notice our charm and want us for our rockin body!"

Deadpool closed his file and looked up to the sky.

"What do ya think reader? Do we A. Bring Domino alongside Clown Princess and hopefully bang both, bring Clown Princess or C. Ditch them both for Chimichangas and go to a party. (You can message the freak writing this or review your answer). While you do that, I have a craving for some Rogue women... meow."

Deadpool folded the file up and stuck it in his belt. Walking out the door and closing it behind him. Leaving an empty, bland room in the dark.

* * *

**Guess who broke down the fourth wall with a hammer? :)**


	11. Chapter 11: When Domino's Attack

**Thank you for the input everyone! This chapter should be interesting... hehe.**

* * *

"Why are you keeping me here?" asked a concerned Harley Quinn.

Looking around the room, she could see many guards intent on keeping her in the break room. Looking down, she could see the handcuffs holding her frail wrists together. Nothing new... One of the guards responded with a simple answer.

"Because we can."

Her mind laughed a bit.

'Not a great answer but okay... new question!'

Harley was intent on making this guards life miserable by simply asking multiple questions until he couldn't stand her anymore.

"What's going on?"

"None of your damn business."

"Why are there so many guards? I could kill you all if I wanted to ya know."

The guard just ignored that one.

"Where is Deadpool?"

"Why do you care?"

Harley's mind pondered for a second and she let out, "Good point."

"So... how's the family? Do they like working for crazy secret businesses too?"

The guard snapped at Harley as he moved towards her. She sat back in her chair and held back a smile.

'Job well done.'

"Do you EVER SHUT UP?!"

Making a face to signify thinking, Harley looked up and then back to the guards face which was only mere centimeters from hers.

"Nope."

"That must be why Wade brought her along," said a woman's voice.

"Excuse me," Harley kicked the guard and watched him fall to the floor; Quickly standing up and walking towards the woman in the doorway.

"That and her breasts."

Harley ignored the last thing the woman said. It as probably true any who...

"Hey, have you seen, er, Wade around anywhere? I have a bone to pick with him..."

Harley looked at the woman. Tall. Skinny. Dressed in all black.

'That's a weird looking bruise thing on her- oh wait. Duh. Makeup.'

The woman stayed silent as she looked Harley up and down. Not a huge threat clearly.

"Okay... So what's your name? Circle face?"

Harley giggled at herself. She was still completely annoyed with having been placed in that room and now she was going to ensure everyone else in the room was going to become annoyed as well.

"Did you come along willingly or did Deadpool threaten you with the killing of someone?"

Okay well, while this woman was fun to bother, it wasn't fun when the woman was bothering Harley. The word killing hit Harley's heart. Hard.

"I wouldn't say that... it was really neither. So wait, why do you care?"

Harley pretend gasped and moved her cuffed hands over her mouth. Manipulating someones emotions was something she had learned to do thanks to her puddin'. She was getting very good at it as well.

"Aww... were you and Deadpool a thing? How you could stand him for any longer than three days I have no idea. I mean, that guy is crazy! Try living with him for a few weeks."

The woman looked peeved. Her face darkened and her anger became evident. Moving her hand, she was able to signal for all the guards to leave the room.

"Look you little shit, I am in charge here. No one is above me. Not even Fury. I run the show on my own. Now, I am taking Wade with me on a mission to assassinate one of the world's most idiotic hackers and I need you to leave. Now."

The woman moved closer to Harley and slammed her into the wall. Pinning her to it and progressively getting angrier.

"You should be thankful that someone actually gave a crap about your well being. Especially someone like him and even though he is an ass-hat, he isn't to be played with. K? Oh and the name is Domino. Call me Circle face one more time and I will kill you."

Harley stood there stunned. Eyes completely wide open and for the first time in a long time, she was legitimately scared. She was actually intimidated by this chick. She wanted someone to come find her and hopefully kick this psychos butt. That was when Harley had realized it: she had lived with HIM for weeks now. HE nursed her back to health. HE could have just left her to die. Deadpool is the one she wanted to come to save her now.

'Ew... but... God why?!'

Harley looked into the glaring eyes of Domino and smiled. Coming up with something smart to say.

"Well, that was completely unprovoked."

Harley gave out a nervous giggle as she watched Domino's expression intensify.

'Uh oh...'

That's when the door to the break room slammed open and smashed the wall with a THUD.

"I HAVE PANCAKES! Who knew this place would serve breakfast?"

Domino quickly loosened up on Harley and backed away. Leaving a stunned (and thankful) Harley Quinn leaning against the wall. Both the women watched as Deadpool entered the room.

"Oh... was there some girl on girl action happening in here? I can feel the intensity."

Deadpool flexed his arm muscles as he emphasized the word intensity. Both the women nervously laughed it off. Both giving each other the evil eye as they separated across the room.

"So, I have decided to take both of you on our trip to the big city," Deadpool exclaimed happily.

"Wait... what?!" Domino rang out,"I cannot permit this you jerk. I will not stand-"

"Blah Blah Blah. Look sugar tits, the reader's have decided that's how this is gonna go. Anyways, we all know you have the hots for all this and we also know that I can't trust you, you will sell me out, etc etc. So, I wanna bring her because I have the hots for her AND I can't just leave her here with Fury's men. We all know they don't see enough women in one day to sustain them for a year."

Harley stood watching the events unfold in front of her.

'I'm hot?'

Domino stood in front of Deadpool angrily. Harley noticed the sudden urge to kill her was gone. Now Domino was just some jealous ex-girlfriend like thing that wasn't worth her time. Or energy really.

"You-" Domino was cut off by Deadpool almost instantly.

"Suck? No as I remember, you were the one sucking last time. Bad Domino. haha. Oh and as I see it, two pairs of those," Deadpool pointed at Domino's chest,"Gets me double the miles. Vroom vroom baby."

The tension in the room was mounting pretty quickly. It now seemed as if these two were about to go it mortal combat mode and Harley caught right in the cross hairs. Not to mention the sucking of things was grossing her out. She wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place! If she had just left when she had the chance.

"WILSON! I thought you left an hour ago!"

Nick Fury's voice bounced off the walls. Breaking the tension in every part of the room.

"BUT Niiiicccckkkk, I haven't even SEEN Logan yet!" Deadpool whined in a childish way.

Nick Fury gave Deadpool the "I don't give a crap" face and watched as Deadpool ran out of the room. Harley noticed this and instinctively followed. With Domino trailing behind. Fury stopped Harley on her way out and Harley looked to Domino for help.

'Fine just walk on... YOU ARE LUCK I DON'T HAVE MY BABIES WITH ME!' her mind screamed.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh..."

Deadpool came bounding back down the hall and moved Fury aside.

"Move aside foul beast, for this is my wench and she is coming with me."

With that, Harley watched as Deadpool picked her up and flung her over his shoulder.

'Wench?'

"Excuse me, I am not your-"

Harley was interrupted by an angry Nick Fury screaming at Deadpool.

"Oh. Looks like it's time to go."

Harley knew exactly what he meant.

"Don't you dare hit that button!"

Too late, Deadpool had caught up with Domino, grabbed her as well, and teleported out of the building.

'Another round of throw up, here I come!' Harley thought as she slammed her wide eyes shut.


	12. Chapter 12: Throw up

"Please Wade! We promise it will be fun!" Harley and Domino said in unison.

"I don't know girls... last time I screwed around you, Domino, you left me hanging. Literally."

"Oh Deadpool, you know I was just messing with you. Don't you remember last time? How good I was?" Domino sat on the bed staring at Deadpool. Lust in her eyes.

Deadpool giggled a bit,"Yeah. That was pretty fun."

"See? Now you have two of us. Do what you will!"

"I don't know... I have to consult my- eeeee..."

"Come on, puddin.' Just relax," Harley seductively said as she climbed on top of Deadpool.

'WOO! SHOW ME THE BOOBIES!' his mind screamed.

"Bring it on!"

"Deadpool!" Domino shouted.

Just then his whole world began to shake. Up and down. Side to side. Soon enough, slapping was involved.

'Kinky!'

Deadpool closed his eyes. Enjoying every second of what was happening. Slowly, he opened his eyes. There was Domino. Standing over him. Shaking him and slapping him to wake up.

"Wha- what? GOD DAMN IT! SCREW YOU AUTHOR!"

"Get up you piece of crap. We need to get moving. Oh and stop moaning in your sleep. You sound like a dying cow."

Deadpool rolled off the couch and onto the floor. All of the three people were back in the apartment in Gotham.

Wade pulled himself up and moaned in aggravation. Rubbing at his neck and he got up. He blinked his eyes, slowly adjusting to the light.

"Why couldn't you just play along..." he moaned silently.

"What was that?" Domino sneered.

Deadpool looked up at the vixen dressed in black.

'Why couldn't you just do what you were doing in my dream?' he repeated in his mind.

Out loud he said something completely different.

"I said you have big tits." Deadpool hollered as Domino walked into the kitchen.

Deadpool watched as Domino worked around the kitchen. No doubt looking for something to eat.

"You have jack-shit to eat here," Domino sneered.

"Well actually-"

"Don't even say it."

Deadpool laughed as he made his way towards the kitchen entrance. Looking up and down at a busy Domino. Who was still searching for something other than rotten pizza to eat.

Domino looked up and gave a fake smile.

"Look, freak, we tracked the guy to Gotham. It only took us two days. If we keep up like this we can have our pay days and split. Now, do you have any decent food?"

Domino began to look around; Deadpool chose to ignore her question and ask his own.

"So, uh, where's blonde?" he inquired.

Domino froze and looked up with a spiteful look.

"In that disgrace of a bathroom. Still throwing up from our last teleportation deal."

'Looks like we really messed her up.'

'Yeah and not in the fun way...'

Deadpool wandered out of the kitchen and through the living area. Walking through the door, he was able to hear the unpleasant sound of barfing coming from behind the door.

"Knock-knock," Deadpool said happily while knocking on the bathroom door.

Harley looked up at Deadpool; She looked completely drained in energy and downright miserable.

"Yikes. Looks like you had a couple of bad Chimichangas!"

Harley smiled a bit as she looked back down towards the toilet. Preparing herself for something that was bound to come up soon.

'Did she just smile at our joke?'

'I think she did. YAY!'

Deadpool looked down at Harley feeling almost sorry for her. ALMOST. Not enough to truly care but just enough to offer to hold her hair back while she threw up. Not a pleasant job but hey, why not?

"Here, let me hold your hair back. You know, the last time I did this was at prom. Only it was a completely different story. Wanna hear it? Of course you do! So, I was at prom with this drag of a date. She was boring, annoying, but she had big boobs and that was good enough for me! SO anyways, prom sucked so we decided to bolt for a party going on down the street. We walked in, looked around, got wasted, your typical high school prom night. Soon enough, this girl begins yuckin up some crazy shit. Tacos, chips, hair, birds, snakes, and airplanes out the wazoo. She bolts for the bathroom. As do most of the other people there. It was like Chucka-palooza! Anyways, A bro of mine -at the time- was throwing up his ten beers so, in honor of guy code, I ditched my date and held my bro's extremely long hippie hair while he threw up. The end!"

Harley looked back up at Deadpool laughing silently. Her eyes and face seemed much happier than before. Her smile came out in a glow. Even if her breath smelled horrid.

'Look what a bullshit story can do to a girl...'

'Make her feel good in a time of need? I think it was worth it.'

Deadpool looked down at Harley Quinn. Taking in her blue eyes. Red lips. Pale face. She was pretty and anyone who denied that was crazier than him!

"WADE! OUT HERE! NOW!" Domino screamed from the living room.

"What ever you say sugar tits!" he hollered back.

Harley whimpered as Deadpool walked out.

"Deadpool. Wait..."

"Yessss?" Deadpool turned around in a dance move kind of way.

"Help me up. I wanna hear the plan too. Maybe I can help figure this out. I mean, who ever this guy is, we tracked him to Gotham right? I know this city in and out-"

'HA. In and out.'

'Be quiet. NOT NOW.'

"-and I know most of the criminals here. Whether they hate me or not..."

"Sure kid. Hop on."

Harley looked somewhat shocked.

"Hop on?"

"Oh... uh... nevermind. Here."

Deadpool walked over to Harley and picked her up. Carrying her out of the room. To say that Domino was pissed would be and understatement. Deadpool smiled as he carried a sick Harley to the couch. Putting her down ever so lightly and sitting across from her in his wretched old chair. Watching as Domino walked over with the file she had been carrying from day one of their little escapade.

"Okay. We tracked this so-called Hane Wilkes to Gotham. It wasn't the easiest thing to do but we did it. Now, Ass hat."

"Yes?" Deadpool replied girlishly.

"I need you to think with your brain for a second. Who around here is a master hacker? You should know this. You worked this area for a bit."

"I got nothing about anyone here except that clown guy I was supposed to kill."

'Oops.'

Harley looked crushed again. Besides the fact that she was turning green, she also became more pale than before. Her eyes drooped a bit as she looked towards the ground.

"Edward," Harley mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Edward Nigma. The Riddler. He is a master mind and a master at computers. If anything, he sent this guy," Harley nodded to the picture of Hane Wilkes,"to hack your systems."

Domino and Deadpool looked at a broken Harley for a few moments before speaking.

Domino spoke first,"Look cupcake, it's cute you think you know your stuff but why would this Nigma hack into SHIELD'S -emphasis on the SHIELD part- network?"

Wade looked at Harley; whom, at this point, was a mixture of potent emotions. Sad, aggravated, sick, and very upset in general. He watched as she just glared at Domino.

"I know what I am talking about," Harley responded stern and cold.

The two women began a minute long glare down before Deadpool broke the ice.

"Chimichangas anyone?"

At that, Harley turned her head towards Wade and promptly threw up.

'Wonderful...' he thought.

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**Hiya puddin! So sorry to keep everyone waiting so long! Life's road has it's crazy spins! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Love ya! **


	13. Chapter 13: Knowing No End

"So where would we find this, er, Nigma?"

"Not sure. He has always been able to avoid being found pretty well," Harley replied to Domino's oh so annoying question.

Domino knew Harley was in no mood to be messed with. The fact that she had just puked all over Deadpool's floor -and partially on the couch- made her feel bad enough. Now she was getting pounded with questions she knew she wouldn't be able to answer. It was seemingly like Domino knew that as well. It was as if she was attacking Harley for reasons unknown.

"Right... you work this place. You SHOULD know where to find him. Your loony clown boyfriend had to have had some friends or allies in the least," Domino said with an evil smile.

"As I have said before, Mistah," Harley cleared her throat; feeling another round of old food coming up slowly,"Mistah J never really had friends. He owned Gotham and he knew it."

The two women stood eyeing eachother. Harley from the couch and Domino sitting across the room from her.

'She thinks she's so smart? You try living with TWO psychopaths you barely know!'

Harley sat her head down on the side of the couch; the couches' arms squashing under the pressure of her head. She slightly closed her eyes before opening them up quickly.

"DEADPOOL! I have an-"

Deadpool looked up from his head to chest position. He had been falling asleep but woke up the second he heard his name. Speaking loudly, he proclaimed,"Wade."

Harley sat up a bit confused,"Um, what?"

"I believe we have known each other long enough for you to know my name. Everyone here should be on a first name basis!"

At his last note, he stood up and placed one leg on the table. Almost in a pirate captains pose with his one leg on the table, his arm resting on his leg comfortably, and his chin making his head look oh so sharp. Within a minute of figuring himself in to the pose, Deadpool began his rant.

"Hi everyone. My name is Wade and I un-alive people for a living."

'Alright. I'll play along.'

Harley spoke up with a small smile coming across her face," HI Wade."

"I came here today because I had non other choice. Plus, it also seemed like a good idea when I signed up: Well, actually I didn't REALLY sign up I mean it was the promise of money and yeah so anyways, I am here today because I was promised beer, women and cash," Wade paused as Harley watched as he made his way to her, placing one hand on the side of his mouth and whispering,"I was really only promised the money but we can make the women and beer part true right?"

"Um..." Harley looked at Domino for help. Clearly, she wasn't going to get any. Why was he doing his in the first place? Harley felt Wade's hand on her head as he shook her head in agreement.

"HAHA! Giggity. Oh and yes reader, I did just say that. For those who understood me, congratulations you win another night of my katana not going up your ass! Hooray! Now, for you to get to know me better. I am a failed (and I do mean successful I mean look at me) science lab rat from the Weapon X program. I shoot people, blow up others- Explosions attract the coveted 18 to 24 year old male demographic- and here I am now. With none other than a member of Black Sabbath and a clown princess! That's all. Goodnight Gotham!"

Deadpool dropped his foot from the table and sat back in his chair. Letting all his body plop down at once to form a lazy look.

'What the heck was that?'

Harley just stared at the red and black clad man. There was definitely something different about him but she just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Hey, so uh, Neena, why don't you share next?"

'Neena? Who's Neena? Wait is that...'

"EXCUSE ME? I am not on a first name basis with you, Deadpool. I am not and never will be."

"Are you sure? Never? Does that count for the past? 'Cus I remember that one time-"

Deadpool saw Domino's face starting to fume up with anger.

"No... but if I recall it meant quote on quote "Nothing" to you. Oh well! It meant everything to me, Neeeeeenaa; But now you have big ole' Cable to keep your bed warm."

"SHUT UP!"

Domino stormed out of the room into the bedroom before Deadpool could squeeze in another word. Wade, stood there silent for a second and then began laughing. Nearly flipping himself back in his chair.

"Oh it just it just ohahaha!"

Harley sat up straight on the beaten up couch. Setting herself up just in case she had to throw up again...

"IT JUST GETS TO HER EVERY TIME! OHAAHHA HAHA!"

Harley watched as Wade fell forward out of his chair. Wriggling on the dirty floor; laughing hysterically. Why this was so funny, she had no clue but it was nice to see someone laughing again. It was nice to see someone laughing hysterically at nothing again. Harley couldn't help but start to giggle herself. Not because of what had just happened, but because Deadpool was laughing so hard. Her giggle soon became full on laughter and the two were being slightly obnoxious now. Deadpool pulled himself across the floor and to the couch. Dragging himself up onto the couch and onto the arm. Sitting slightly on and slightly off the arm.

Harley slowly began to stop laughing. Tears were running down her face but not only because of her laughter but because now she was remembering the times she had had with the Joker. All the laughter and fun that had been going on when he was around. She realized that it had taken Wade a couple moments to figure out that it wasn't just happy tears. She pulled herself to the opposite side of the couch and felt Deadpool nudge her arm.

"Hey, are you okay? I mean, yes I'm funny but there's no reason to cry over it."

'At least he's trying,' she thought.

Harley just looked out over the gross floor. The floor boards were cracked, the walls were coming apart, the smell was terrible. It reminded her of home sweet where ever Joker had taken her on a crime spree. Tears began to role down her cheeks as she felt Wade awkwardly sit by her feet. She could hear him thinking, and it wasn't just the fact that he was thinking out loud. It was how hard he actually had to try to make up something that would make her feel better. It was the thought that counted. She turned herself towards Deadpool; whom was still negotiating with himself on how to handle this certain situation.

"It wasn't your fault," Harley mumbled through her tears.

"Huh? What wasn't? Most things are," Deadpool responded.

"My ridiculous attitude. It isn't your fault. I was l-l-laughing and now this. Don't worry though, Wade, you are hysterical."

"Why thank you! I try. Not really but ahh you get the point."

"It is just all these things coming together at once. Joker is gone. I am on some mission with you and Domino whom I am pretty sure hates me. I-"

Then she felt something she hadn't in a long time.

A hug.

'From Deadpool? No... this must be from Wade.'

The only human bit left in Deadpool's mind.

Harley felt safe in this crazy man's arms. For the first time in a long time, she felt wanted by someone else. She looked up at Deadpool's face. Reaching up, she began lifting Deadpool's mask off.

"Woa there little lady, my face is not the mighty fine face you would expect to see in these parts," protested Deadpool.

"Scars shouldn't mean the end of the world for you, Wade."

Harley slowly moved his mask up as she looked at his covered face.

'What am I doing?' she thought.

It didn't matter. Now, her curiosity was getting the best of her.

After a moment, she was able to get half of his mask up before he stopped her yet again.

"That's as far as I'll go," he laughed.

"That's all I need."

With that, Harley began to lean upwards as Wade leaned downwards. The two coming together slowly and then,

THUD.

A noise came from Domino's room and-

"GOD DAMMIT! Stop cock- blocking me! This is like, the third time now. You even had me cock-block myself! So, shut the hell up and let me have some fun!" yelled Deadpool at seemingly, nothing (in his mind, Deadpool was yelling at the author of this.

It turns out the Thud was nothing and the two went back to focusing on each other. Neither knew what was going to happen and neither of them cared. Harley's emotional scale was off the charts and if this gave her comfort, then so be it. The two finally met each other in the middle of the couch. Face to face. Mouth to mouth. In the back of Harley's mind, her head was screaming in both disgust and a soothing want for attention. And for the entire duration of the night, that is exactly what Harley received from Wade.

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**Hiya puddin's! To answer your thoughts, yes, yes they did do what you think they did. hehe But come on, he is kinda hot. Not as good looking as Mistah J but ya know... good enough. Thank you for reading up to this point puddin's! You are all wonderful and hope ya enjoyed it!**


	14. Chapter 14: Dead love

Harley Quinn lied back down on the old rickety couch.

Eyes wide open.

Staring at the ceiling.

Every emotion in her pathological mind was on high alert. What the hell had she just done...

'I just... Holy crap. I just slept with... oh God now what? What do I do? Act natural like nothing happened... OH GOD HARLEY, why did you have to go and screw everything up?"

Harley's mind continued to yell at itself. All her emotions must have come together last night to bring her to the emotional state at which she had been able to even think about sleeping with Deadpool. At this point in time, her regret was all she felt. Yes it was fantastic but why would she ever admit that to anyone? Her mind drifted as it came up with memories of her and the Joker together. Always something special but as stated to Batman, they truthfully were trying to have another Joker Junior in their merry brood. Eventually, they just decided to kidnap a Robin so Harley wouldn't have to worry about the wonderful joys of child birth... Everyone saw her puddin' as vile and murderous. She saw him as a happy, fun yet tortured soul who just needed a little love.

She couldn't honestly remember the last time she and the Joker did what she had just done with Wade. It was a scary notion, to her, that she had abandoned all feelings for Joker and given them to Deadpool to play with for the night.

Just as her mind began to torture itself into a tizzy, she heard something coming from the bedroom. It was morning and about the time people would be waking up.

'Waking up.. oh shoot! Domino!'

Harley flung up; flipping Deadpool into the backside of the couch.

"I'm up. I'm up. Chimichangas?"

Deadpool sounded like an idiot. No. He was an idiot! How could he use her like that? Whatever. It didn't matter. Now all that mattered was getting all her clothes back on. Scrambling, she grabbed her things and bolted for the kitchen. Domino wouldn't be surprised to see a naked Wade (Not to mention she had probably seen him that way with the way he speaks about her) but to see a naked Wade AND a bare butted Harley would not be good. Quickly, Harley shoved on her clothes. The same ugly pair of over bearing jeans and a red sweater she had had since the beginning of this nightmare.

"I need my old outfit back," she mumbled.

Listening, she could hear Deadpool dressing as well and then suddenly, an angered Domino slammed open the bedroom door. Boots clacking o the ground and heading towards the kitchen.

'Nuts.'

Harley scrambled to the fridge and opened it. Pretending to be searching for food content of any sort. Perfectly knowing that there would be absolutely nothing to eat. Just then, the door to the kitchen flung open and in walked an aggravated Domino. Probably still angered by last night's "First name basis" thing.

"Morning," Harley said almost too politely.

"Yeah, hi," Domino sneered back.

As Harley was shutting the door to the fridge, a tired Deadpool entered the kitchen. Arms out stretching and a yawn plastered to his face. Harley looked up and saw his eyes looking at her. Her blue eyes quickly searched for something else to look at. Sadly, the only thing there was was Domino. The last person Harley would want to talk to.

"So... we could go out for Mexican."

Domino looked over at Deadpool," At seven A.M. I really doubt there will be a Mexican restaurant open, idiot."

"Woa woa. Just a suggestion."

Harley pushed her way through the door way passed Deadpool. Domino not far behind. Deadpool following as if their butts were sacred.

Harley Quinn needed to talk to somebody about this whole thing. Everything that has happened. But, everyone thinks she's dead.

'I need to talk to somebody. Oh screw it!'

An idea popped into Harley's head. An idea with an actual truth behind it. No one here knew where Edward Nigma was hiding but someone else would. Someone Harley loved and could trust. It would be easy getting the other two to come along. Just play it off as if she had all the information. She would too; Pamela always knew where to find the other wonderful villains of this town.

"I know where Nigma is!" she screamed without thought.

"Really? Well, we need to know now. We were supposed to have gotten this guy yesterday," Domino responded.

"Well, alright I don't truly but I know someone who does. If we go to see her, she can tell us where Edward is. She always knows where to find people."

The two other people in the room stared at Harley.

"Sounds good to me! Wait, are there guards guarding whomever this person is? I need a little slice and dice time," inquired Deadpool as he played with his weapons.

Domino spoke up, "Fine. Just, lead on."

'Lead on? How uncharacteristic...'

"Well, alright."

The group gathered everything they needed and headed out towards the alley way. To say it wasn't awkward for Harley was a mistake. It was entirely awkward. She was mad, sad, happy, eager and oh so glad she did it. Just, unhappy a bit that it was not with her puddin.'

Making their way in to the alley, she allowed Deadpool to head out in front until the edge of the building. Looking at him from behind was a treat.

'I don't know... he does have a cute butt.'

* * *

**Hello my babies! Just to remind you all, I am trying to somewhat go on the Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker plot... kinda. Even though Harley really isn't involved too much, there is a certain thing mentioned of her at the end of the movie... but.. spoilers! so, gotta keep my lips sealed! Love ya! ;D**


	15. Chapter 15: Deadpool's an Idiot

'Woah. I can't believe she let us do that!'

'Yes it was quite... invigorating.'

"I know I liked it! Bet the readers did too. Oh you little perverts... haha!"

"Deadpool! Shut the hell up and let Harley lead the way."

Deadpool turned to look behind him to see Domino with her hand on her hip, one leg out and a sassy sneer pasted on her pale face. Harley followed close behind with her hands in her pockets, blue eyes looking at Domino, in almost a confused way.

'Should we take today seriously? Nah!'

"Hey, Domino!"

Deadpool ran up behind Domino and squeezed her into his side.

"Do you wanna be a dartboard today?"

"What?"

"You see, if you were, then I could be your bulls-eye. haha get it?! I know they did!"

While he laughed at his own joke, he noticed that besides Domino annoyed look, Harley was silent. Not a trait he had noticed she had.

'Time to have some fun.'

Rushing up to her side, Deadpool forced her forwards and into the air. Carrying her over in front of both he and Domino. Setting her down with a plop on the sidewalk.

"LEAD ON BUTTER BISCUITS! You did last night. Ha!"

Harley turned looking annoyed. YEP. His tactic was working.

"I gotta know, are those real?"

Harley's look of disgust and her utter will to scream "SHUT UP" was clearly evident. Instead, she seemed to have gritted her teeth and asked, "Excuse me?" To which our favorite Merc with a Mouth answered,"Your nails. They are so long!"

'What are we doing?'

'Oh. You'll see.'

Deadpool danced around Harley for a minute. Only pausing to look at Domino and her look of disappointment and betrayal. Of course, no one there was betraying her in any way but this was all a game to Deadpool and he was playing it well. Wade walked over to Domino only to confirm what he thought she already knew.

"No that banging was not on your door last night... If you catch my drift."

"SHUT UP YOU JERK!"

There it was. Exactly what he had been wanting to hear.

'And...'

Harley ran passed Deadpool in a pissed off, sad manner. Domino following like a lost puppy saaying as she passed,"Nice you ass."

Neither would speak to him nor each other. That is exactly what he wanted.

'Why did we do that?'

"Pure silence. Now, they are so mad at me and each other that they won't even yell at me when I destroy random people on the way to wherever the hell we are going!"

'That was our plan?'

"Uh duh. You are in my head. How could you not know our plan?"

Deadpool followed Harley who was sneaking through the alley ways and side streets best she could.

'So the whole plan was just to tick them both off so you could have fun?'

"Yep."

'God, we are an ass.'

"HEY WOAH. We, I mean I, am not an ass. Don't be such a stick in the mud."

'Yes you are.'

"I don't hear the readers saying it!" Stated Deadpool matter-of-factly.

'You can't hear them. They can only read and try to hear you in whatever voice they have heard from you before.'

"Then who are the voices in my head that keep talking to me?!"

'Oh dear God... If I had hands, I would face palm.'

"HA! Well, you don't so, yea!"

Deadpool followed the strategic Harley Quinn and the domineering Domino through the streets of Gotham. He would occasionally teleport onto of roof tops and in front of his little group. Just to feel somewhat in charge. After his last teleportation landed him way behind the two women, he began running forward. In order to catch up with his group.

"NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAN!"

Harley shushed Deadpool and angrily asked, "Where did you here that?"

"I don't know. Heard it on a TV show once."

"Well you listen to me, buddy! I-"

The group became silent again but only because of the threat ahead.

"Hey sweetheart," a man said as he jumped out and grabbed Harley," wanna take a ride around the block with me? We will have a real good ti-"

His sentence was abruptly ended by a knife lading in his skull. Harley looked down at the dead man and back up at Deadpool.

"You could'a killed me!"

"But I didn't!"

"But you could'a"

Domino butted in with a sneer, "Shut up and look up!"

Ahead of them sat at least ten more men. In shock at what had just been witnessed.

Deadpool felt a smile grace his face.

"WOOHOO!"

Lunging for the men, Deadpool pulled out his swords and struck the first ma. Jumping onto the back of the second and bouncing over to the third's unready throat. The girls joined in the fight as they all fought off the gruesome bunch of men. Man of them now either reaching for guns or pulling out their knives. As the three finished up, they realized this was far from over. From behind them, came many more men and then, what must have been their leader. A fairly large man with muscles out the wazoo.

"HA. And I thought my drugs had bad side effects!"

As Deadpool laughed, he noticed Harley's panic. She must have known his face.

"Uh guys, let's just leave now."

"What?!" Domino and Deadpool yelled in unison.

"You may want to listen to your friend, masked man. The blonde one knows much of me."

Deadpool just giggled, "How much?"

The man grew tired of Deadpool's incompetence quickly. Sending his first batch of men i to do his dirty work.

As the two groups combined, blood was shed quickly.

"This must have been a set-up!" yelled Domino as she sheered of a man's head.

"No dur!" hollered back Deadpool.

The two fought with fierce rage (well more excitement from Deadpool) but Harley looked as if she were regretting this.

Suddenly, shots began to ring out from above.

'Now we are getting shot at!?'

Shots rang out as the small group fought. Blood splatter coming up from ever which direction. Deadpool braced himself as he jumped up and around the incoming man and headed for the main man. Jumping up, he threw back his sword and... was shot dead in the head. Sending him flying to the side.

"DEADPOOL!" Harley screamed.

Harley's fighting quickly became more intense. Throwing herself at the in coming men and stealing their knives. Attempting to make it to Deadpool.

"So. This is the infamous Deadpool? Taken out by one single shot. How pathetic."

The main man began laughing as Harley attempted to reach him.

"Wait! Wait. You forgot one thing... I. Can't. Die!"

Deadpool lunged into the air, using his arsenal of guns to shoot down everyone surrounding him at that moment. Out of the corner of his eye, Wade saw Harley freeze out of confusion. She must have forgotten already.

"Butter biscuits, look out behind you!"

Wade shot off a round i her direction. Watching as she strategically manipulated her way through the men and ending with the last man in front of her receiving a shot to the head.

'Okay. Remind me to marry that woman.'

'Will do.'

Just as the fight was becoming increasingly easier, it began to become increasingly worse. That was until vines began to come up through the ground. Grabbing at the men and throwing them in different directions.

"Random massacres and now Monster plants? I love this city!" screamed Deadpool.

The only other thing that was able to be heard was a squeal of giddiness from Harley. Clearly, SHE knew what the plants meant. Deadpool, on the other hand, had no idea. As the plants rose up, the men began to retreat.

"COWARDS!" bellowed their leader.

Until, the plants' voice echoed through the now darkening alley way.

"Better watch your back, Bane. My plants happen to be hungry."

Just then, a large maniacal looking green thing rose out of the ground in front of the small group.

'Close our mouth. We're drooling.'

"I CAN'T. THIS IS SO COOL."

Bane backed up and started to scurry away.

"Even he knows not to mess with mother nature."

Poison Ivy rose up from inside the giant green monstrosity and Deadpool's mouth fell to the floor.

"MY GOD. THREE WOMEN?! READERS I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T CONVINCE THE WRITER TO DO A FOUR-SOME, I WILL END YOU."

Deadpool watched as all the plants and vines receded back to where they came. He observed how Harley ran over and lunged at her friend... or who he assumed was her friend.

"IVY!"

Poison Ivy caught Harley in a hug that seemed to last forever.

'We need pictures of this...'

"You have no idea what has happened to me in the last few weeks," Harley stated.

"And you have no idea of what has changed while you were gone these last few weeks," replied Ivy," Now, can you introduce me to these two?"

Wade stood ad listened and waited for his chance to pounce.

"Oh...yea... umm, that's Domino and that is-"

"DEADPOOL! THE GREATEST ASSASSIN YOU WILL EVER SEE! Not to mention the sexiest. Even Wolverine wishes he has abs like mine!"

Wade ran up in front of Harley and Ivy. Watching as the two exchanged looks and as the green clad plant girl pulled something out of a pouch.

"Ooooh I love pouches. They have so many pur-"

Before he was able to finish his sentence, Ivy puffed the powder into his face.

"Nifty little pink spaarrrklllesss..."

Black out.

* * *

**Hiya! I just wanted to take a second and thank everyone for reading this story. Specifically, "The Boy in the Black Forest." Thank you for the helpful comments and reviews! So, all in all, this chapter is dedicated to you! Have a nice night, puddin!**


	16. Chapter 16: Crazy for feeling

"I have so much I need to tell you, Ivy."

Harley leaned back in her chair. The group had finally arrived at Ivy's house after such a long time on the road. Harley was extremely happy to see Pamela again. After her long escapade, she was very exhausted and all around happy to have been able to shower and find new clothes. After all, she had stayed at Poison Ivy's house before. She was glad Ivy had kept her extra jester outfit here and her other pieces of clothing.

"Start with explaining how you are alive. If you would..." said Pamela as she handed Harley a hot cup of freshly poured tea.

"Well, honestly I am not sure. All I remember is bratgirl dropping me and then nothing. Then, short blips of seeing a man in red and black and days later I wake up to find myself in a completely new outfit and in an extremely run down apartment on a side of Gotham I am not quite familiar with."

Poison Ivy took a sip of her tea as her eyes looked down at the kitchen table. Harley watched as her friend seemed to be trying to ask a question.

"Yes... I know..." Harley mumbled sadly.

The room became very quiet as the two looked off in different directions. It was pleasant for Harley to be able to recognize the place she was staying in. Her second home to be honest. In the back of her mind, she hoped she could stay here again.

"Nothing much has changed around here has it?" asked Harley regarding the house.

Ivy looked up quickly and nervously laughed,"Well, not at my house. Everywhere else has changed. After the Joker was gone, well, Gotham went down burning. Every other villain around here saw his leaving as their chance to rise up and take his place. It isn't uncommon now to see your average Joe Shmoe running around in clown makeup. We all -every one but you and Joker- thought your legacy would die off eventually but it seems that Joker was actually a great influence on this city. Even Batman has somewhat disappeared."

Harley looked down at the sacks laying down in front of her. Eyeing them and wondering where Ivy had gone for her precious stones.

"Are those from the jewelry store we used to rob together?"

Ivy looked up and smiled.

"Yes. I figured you might still be around. There was no way you were dead. No body? I knew you had survived," Ivy paused then continued," So... who is the guy you brought along?"

Harley stopped admiring the half open bag of jewels and looked up. She wasn't sure how to tell her best friend everything but she could try.

"Well, that is Deadpool, er, really, Wade. He is the one who carried me from that trench. He saved me I guess you could say. He is obsessed with boobs and women and for some reason, Mexican food."

Harley looked at Ivy to ensure she was still listening. That was the thing she loved about Ivy. She could listen for hours and still act like she cared.

"Anyways, he, umm," she checked around the corner to see if he was any where nearby; he wasn't," He and I kinda... well.. we kinda...but there were no feeling involved!"

"Oh Harls, you didn't!"

A blush came across Harley's face as she veered her eyes towards the table. The intensity in the room was growing, that was, until, Ivy broke it with a slight humorous statement.

"Was he any good?"

The two burst out laughing. Bringing them both to tears.

"Actually haha actually- ha! He... he wasn't that bad! HAHAHA!"

Why this was so funny was anyone's guess but it felt amazing to be able to laugh again. The laughter continued until Harley felt the urge to throw up yet again. Standing up, she ran towards the door and slammed it open. Throwing up in to Ivy's yard.

"Well jeez Harley," Pamela said walking to her side,"I didn't mean to make you laugh that hard."

Harley giggled as much as she could and smiled at the ground.

"It wasn't your fault. I guess my belly just wasn't ready for that tea."

Poison Ivy helped get her friend back inside and guided her to the couch. Assisting her in the sitting down process and called for the other two lunatics to come to the living room.

Harley lied down as Deadpool ran into the room.

"You rang oh sexy green one?"

Ivy rolled her eyes,"Where's the other one?"

Deadpool laughed,"Still adjusting to the toxic chemicals in the air. You know, cus you didn't give her any anti-chemical thingies."

Harley watched as Pamela realized her mistake.

"Oh... right. Where is she?"

"Your room currently," Deadpool responded.

Pamela ran back to check on the apparently sick Domino as Wade walked towards Harley.

"Hiya babe. How are ya feeling?"

No answer.

"Aw come on. You aren't still mad at me are you?"

This time there was an answer. An envelope opener to the thigh.

"OUCH! Okay baby I get it! I shouldn't have pissed you off! But I know how to make it better."

Deadpool pulled the envelope opened out of his thigh and moved towards and old radio stashed in the corner of the room. He plugged it in and began searching through Ivy's CD collection.

"Come on. A girl like that has to have it!"

Harley watched as Wade flipped through CD's. Her anger wasn't leaving her mind.

"AH HERE IT IS!"

She observed as Deadpool stuck in his found CD and hit play. Adjusting the disk to one certain song.

The song began to play in a low volume setting. It was nice. Harley had only heard this song maybe once or twice. Possibly from when she was little or maybe-

"Come on," Deadpool commanded as he hoisted Harley off the couch.

Wade pushed the table in front of the couch out of the way with his feet. Grabbing Harley's waist, he pulled her in close and began swaying her slowly. Side to side as he began to hum and then softly sing.

"Crazy. I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely."

'You have got to be kidding me,' Harley thought.

She listened as Wade sang along to the song. His voice oddly soothing. Soon enough, she felt herself becoming lost in the moment. The song playing softly, his hugging grip he had on her. It was almost as if...

'No... I can't be.'

Her heart was feeling joyous as Wade rocked her from side to side. The atmosphere around them was perfectly in tune with the music. The low lights were on, the stars outside shown through the windows and the house was quiet except for the music. All in all, the moment was perfect.

"...Worry! Why do I let myself worry?"

His voice was soothing to Harley's ears. Her head gave into her heart as Harley lied her head on Deadpool's chest. Her one hand laying on his chest as well. He automatically stopped singing as he seemed a tad shocked at this gesture. Closing her eyes, she could feel the two of them sway back and forth. Then, she could feel his head sit atop of her. Almost knowing he too had his eyes closed.

The pair danced around the room to the classic song. She could feel herself becoming completely safe in Wade's arms. As the song was coming to it's close, Wade picked up Harley's chin with two fingers. Moving his mask slightly and guiding her face to his. She let herself become completely vulnerable for that one moment as she kissed Wade back. The two stood in the room, completely involved with each other they didn't even notice when the song ended nor the fact that Ivy had walked in minutes ago. The two were too involved with each other that even if they did, neither would care. That is, until Ivy made her presence known with a clearing of her throat.

Harley jumped a bit as she noticed her friend standing there with a huge smirk on her face. Harley blushed as she saw Deadpool's look of aggravation. Clearly, he had been hoping for a moment like this but now, it was over. Harley gave off a quick smile as she took her friends extended hand and walked into the kitchen.

"No feelings right?" Ivy chuckled.

Harley looked at her friend knowing darn well she had feelings for Wade.

"I think I need some rest," Harley laughed.

"That's fine. You know where your room is."

"Thanks," Harley responded.

As the previous clown princess of crime walked off, she stopped in the kitchen doorway.

"Hey, uh, Ivy?"

"Yes?"

"Could you quite possibly run to the store for me and grab something?"

* * *

**Okay, now go back and re-read that dancing scene with Crazy by Patsy Cline playing in the background. That's the song for those of ya who weren't sure and it really is an amazing mood setter! haha**


	17. Chapter 17: Reader's Choice

"Holy shit. That was awesome!"

'Yeah... no kidding.'

'Did we feel her boobs on our chest?' his horny half asked.

"A little bit."

'It was worth it!'

Deadpool stood in the living room: Alone. Pondering his next move. His plan had worked. Harley was no longer mad at him and he had just gotten the kiss of the century. Until it was abruptly cut short by the sexy plant girl. The only part of his whole plan was the part where he actually started to have feeling for the clown princess...

"Um, Sexy green one?!" he hollered.

From the kitchen, Ivy could be heard laughing, "Yes?"

"Did Harley already go to bed?"

"Uh, yes. She passed you didn't you see her?"

Deadpool thought about what he had done right after. He had fallen on the couch, hands behind his head and a smile pasted to his face. Reliving that moment when Harley had actually kissed him back.

"No..."

Poison Ivy laughed and walked into the living room.

"Look if you like her, then just say it. The pulling the hair thing is so third grade," she told Deadpool, "now why don't you go round up, er, what's her name again?"

"Domino. AND I AM DEADPOOL! The best thing to ever happen to the Weapon X program!"

"Well, pleased to meet you, er, Deadpool."

Pamela walked around the room and grabbed her coat.

"Goin somewhere?" Deadpool inquired.

Pamela grabbed her coat and sat at the table. Placing on her red heels and concealing her hair with a beret.

"Out. Harley needs me to grab something at the store."

Deadpool eyed the trench coat Ivy had thrown on.

"You have no intentions on paying for whatever it is, do you?"

Ivy stopped in the doorway and turned back to Deadpool and smiled. A glimmer in her eyes, she simply said, "Nope."

She walked out and Deadpool watched her shut the door.

"She has a nice butt."

'Really?'

"What!? She does..."

Turning around, Deadpool headed for the kitchen.

"I need some grub! We're starving!"

As Deadpool made his way through the kitchen, he searched through the fridge. There wasn't much to eat.

"Damn. What does she eat? There's nothing here!"

'Weren't we supposed to get Domino?' asked his mind.

"Yes but what for? She left. It was probably for something boring like information on that guy Harley was talking about. Ah-ha!"

Wade reached into the fridge and pulled out a moldy slice of pizza.

"Well, healing factor get ready! Oh and reader, you get ready too because the nut house writing this has a plot twist coming."

Wade shoved the pizza in his mouth and swallowed it down.

'hehe swallowed.'

'Shut up.'

The next moment, Deadpool froze as he heard footsteps behind him. At that moment, completely regretting leaving his katanas in the extra bedroom. Spinning around, pizza hanging from his mouth, he karate chopped the air. Stopping before he actually hit the person standing in front of him.

"Hiya," the woman said in a calm voice.

His face let up as the tension in his body melted away. His arms fell to his side and then one to his mouth to catch the falling slice of pizza.

"Hi there," Wade said as he gave off a cheesy smile. Literally.

"What brings you to this side of the green house?"

Harley giggled at his pun and looked around him to the sink. Moving around him, she grabbed a glass from the shelf above the stove and made her way towards the sink. Pouring a glass of water into her cup and turning towards Wade.

"Water."

Harley smiled and began to walk away only to be caught by her arm and spun around. Practically spilling all her water on the floor and on Deadpool. She landed on his chest and in his arms.

"When do I get some more tail?" he asked blatantly and with a laugh.

He noticed the look of annoyed humor on Harley's face.

"You honestly don't know when to shut up do you?"

"Nope."

"Your'e almost as bad as me!'

The two laughed as Deadpool kissed Harley's cheek forcibly (Harley at this point was annoyed she hadn't been able to go back to bed). Looking down, he noticed the glass still in her hand. Three quarters of the way gone. He snatched the glass from her quickly, filled it, and gave it back with a smile. Sending her off back to her room when suddenly the door at the front of the house opened. In walked Ivy with her trench coat, beret, and clacking heels. At the same time, Domino wandered from the back bedroom. Clearly back on her feet from the mistake Poison Ivy had made by not giving her the necessary shots needed to survive in this neighborhood.

"Wow. Try to get in bed with one, they all show up! Is there any chance of a sexy bubble kiss time?"

Deadpool looked around at all three girls now staring at him with aggravated "Are you kidding me?" looks on their faces.

"No?"

Deadpool sighed and made his way to the couch. Plopping down on it and feeling himself bounce back up into the air. Then landing back down with his hands behind his head, feet crossed and his comfort level, 'Over 9000!'

"Wrong show, pal."

The girls had now gone about their business. Ivy handing Harley some sort of box and Domino pushing her way over to Wade.

"You know, ass hat, you don't look half bad tonight."

While happy about the compliment, he wasn't sure what to say. Harley was out of he room currently so he decided to live a little.

"You don't look that bad yourself, sugar tits!"

Domino smiled and laughed as Deadpool looked at her.

"You know Deadpool..."

Deadpool wasn't listening though; his mind was having a party of it's own.

'I can't believe we used to date that.'

'I can't believe we used to tap that! haha!'

'Yes but if you recall, she was always nagging.'

'True. She never liked our song either!'

'What song?'

'Well, the one about being crazy. We should win an award for that.'

'Crazy. I'm crazy for feelin so lonely.'

'Wasn't Domino saying something?'

'Probably. Worry! Why do I let myself worry?'

Deadpool began to hum the tune as his eyes began to shut. Then a sharp pain was felt across his face.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?" yelled Domino.

"Wha-what? Oh yea yea. You want to hit this again," Deadpool said as flipped onto his side; rubbing at his butt and making a quote on quote "Sexy face."

Domino let out an "urgh" and stormed into the kitchen. Harley could be heard from down the hall yelling for Ivy.

'Wonder what the deal is there?'

"I don't know. Probably has nothing to do with the fact that she and I did it the other night."

Ivy showed up moments later into the living room with a completely stunned Harley Quinn. Practically holding Harley up and dragging her into the living room. Wade stood up and assisted in the putting Harley down on the couch.

"What's wrong with her? Bad Pizza?"

Ivy looked up at Deadpool with a scowl as she placed a blanket over Harley's shaking body.

"What? It's possible!"

Ivy shooed Deadpool out of the way and sat by Harley. Rubbing Harley's back and looking up at Deadpool.

"We may have a problem," Ivy mentioned almost too casually.

'What did we do now?'

"See, the thing is Deadpool. Before the Joker was sadly taken from Harls here, they were trying to have their own little family. The thing was, Harley could never actually have any children. For some reason, nothing ever took. Until now."

"Okay... why is this a-"

'Oh dear God.'

'Oh shit.'

Deadpool's face started to cringe up a bit as he looked down at a tearing up Harley and then back to Poison Ivy.

"The thing is Deadpool," Ivy continued, "we all know what happened between you two the other night and well, she isn't sure who's it is..."

Wade froze in almost sheer panic. The room was getting tighter, the air thicker and the brain that once almost functioned, completely quit. Nothing was able to come out of his mouth except for muffled screeches.

"Uh... READER! Hey, yea you! Why don't you decide who's kid it is? You know: Joker's or Joker's? Make it easy on yourself. I beg of you, " Deadpool fell to his knees, "Please just comment on who's kid it should be and by who's I mean Joker's. The writer must be on something to leave the entire story line after this up to this one decision so.. choose wisely... and by wisely, I mean Joker. Not just cus, you know, I am me but cus... I DON'T KNOW JUST PICK GOD DAMN IT!"


	18. Chapter 18: It's His

"This is why I didn't want to tell him," Harley mumbled in tears.

Her loving friend Ivy stood across from her leaning on the wall. Most likely thinking about what to say next. Deadpool had run out of the house; Er, really, kicked the door down and bolted to where ever the hell he was going.

"Harls, he would have figured it out. Believe it or not, he isn't dumb enough to not notice your stomach multiplying in size," Ivy said smartly then noticing it wasn't helping, she adjusted her tone a bit and rethought what she was going to say,"Look, you don't even know if it's his, right?"

Harley was staring down at the floor. The cracked and crooked wood had always been just that. Cracked. Just like her life was right at this moment. Though, to her, her life had always been cracked and crooked. Her mind pondered as to what it should say next. She couldn't lie to her best friend. She already had and it was killing her.

'Time to confess,' she thought.

Looking up, she looked Ivy deep in the eye and spat it out,"It IS Wade's kid."

"What? Wait you said-"

"I know what I said. I lied. Joker and I hadn't done anything like that before he, um, left. I seriously wanted to have his family but I honestly did and do not want to deal with the wonderful joys of child birth. Excuse my sarcasm."

Ivy stood there watching Harley and Harley stared back. Her mind somewhat wondering how her friend would take to Harley lying.

"I kinda figure Harley. You and the Joker never seemed like the, er, type for that kind of stuff."

Harley stood in astonishment,"Excuse me. He and I- no. haha You are right..."

The two laughed until an unwanted guest walked into the room. One dressed in an unfashionable (as if Harley herself followed fashion) black one piece piece of garbage.

'And what's up with only one eye painted?'

"Hello, um, Ivy is it?" Domino inquired.

"Yes. May I help you?"

"Well, I'd just like some water."

"The kitchen is through there," nodded Ivy.

Harley watched as Domino passed through the room. Rather uncomfortably to be exact. Not once, Harley noticed, looking at Harley.

'What is up with her?' she thought.

Suddenly, Pamela broke Harley's thoughts with an odd but probably relevant question," Did she and Deadpool ever have a thing?"

For a moment, Harley remained shocked.

'A thing?'

"A thing? No... that can't be. I mean... maybe... he is always making jokes about how they clearly had a one night thing but..." Harley's eyes grew in size, "Oh Dear God."

Harley looked at the ground realizing that she was not the only one in this mini group to have slept with this intrepid jerk.

'Come on.'

Harley tried to ignore her annoyed feelings and attempted to move on from the subject at hand. Doing so with a sneer.

"What is Nigma up to now, Ivy."

Really wanting to ask, "How do you kill someone who can't die?"

Pamela moved around the room to her table by the door. Sitting oh so pleasantly; legs crossed one over the other. She was gorgeous and she knew it. Smart too and that was why she knew where to find the Riddler. Harley jumped up from the couch and regrettably yelled for Domino to come in. The two would most likely not want to talk to each other for some time. She didn't even think that Domino was angry at her or anything illogical like that, though, it did seem a spite of jealousy was in tow. Nothing insanely large but enough to set off Harley's aggravated mind. Harley made her way to the table as Domino made her way into the room.

"What's going on?" Domino inquired.

Pamela answered with a happy tone of voice,"Well, I am here to help you locate Nigma. He seems to be hiding a lot lately."

"Wait," Domino turned to Harley, "I thought you said she KNEW where he was already."

Domino received the death look from an increasingly impatient Harley. Clearly sensing that she needed to shut up, Domino moved on.

"Anyways, who was that giant man with his mini army of Spanish speaking creeps?"

"Bane. As I said to you Harley, a lot has changed since you were assumed dead," Ivy responded.

Both Domino and Harley Quinn settled into chairs and began to mentally prepare for a long story.

"After you and the Joker were presumed dead, most of the villains around here didn't think much about it. Your thugs all moved on the day after. Finding new work with someone else-"

'Ungrateful little jerks,' Harley thought.

"Though, others, like Bane and Riddler, felt it was time for them to reach out and grab Gotham by it's throat. Bane began selling his steroid Venom anywhere he could. Reaching an even larger market than before. Nigma took Joker's absence as a time to take Joker's spot as the so called 'king of Gotham crime.' Sending out many of his men to do tons more dirty work than before. Odd things like robbing Black Mask's weapons caches and even shooting down some of the local gang's top guys. Even stealing some of Scarecrow's gases."

Harley bolted in, "Why hasn't B-Man stopped all this?!"

"He disappeared after Joker's death," replied Poison Ivy,"We all just assumed that he couldn't handle what had happened. No one is one hundred percent sure if it's true but then again, he isn't here to prove us wrong."

"Who is this B-Man you speak of?" Domino asked cautiously.

B-Man was Harley's thing and she felt a little peeved to hear it coming from another person.

"Oh, yes, forgot you are new here. He is the Caped Crusader. The one who protected this city from the dangers of us."

Ivy grabbed Harley's hand an the two giggled a bit. The joke made Harley smile and she even noticed Domino smiling a bit. That was, until Domino asked where Deadpool was. Pamela looked up at Domino as if to give a warning. Almost communicating telepathically to not bring him up at this moment. It didn't work. Harley looked up at Domino and then back own at the wood table. She honestly did not want to think about him right then. At the same time, he was all she could think about. He was that annoying thing at the back of her mind that never left her thought processes. The one thing that always had her bothered and at the same time, feeling loved. No. She hadn't even dared to think about loving him. This was all a mistake. The love making, the flirtatiousness, the telling him that it could be his baby... it all was a huge mistake.

Or was it?


End file.
